at wit's end with elderly parents

My mom is losing so much mobility because she can’t be bothered to get up and move around anymore. Her knees buckled in the bathroom the other night and we had to call an ambulance to come and help as my Dad and I couldn’t lift her. She has no strength in her legs. Then last night, she couldn’t get out of her chair to go to bed, and I found out later to my horror that she just sat there all night! Dad sat up with her and neither of them got a wink of sleep. Then, this morning, when she tried to get up, she just crumpled to the floor because her knees were locked from sitting so long. So Dad had to call the ambulance again.

Obviously, this can’t go on. Mom is 80 and Dad is 85 and they just can’t cope on their own anymore. Mom is in the latter stages of cirrhosis and Dad has problems with his spine and hips and tires easily. They refuse to consider a nursing home, since they’ve lived in their house for 50 years, and a move at this stage would probably finish them off…but I don’t know what other option we have. They need daily care, and we can’t afford to hire a full-time caregiver. Community care only sends someone in a few days a week and that just isn’t good enough. We need someone to come in morning and night to get Mom out of bed and back into bed, and partway through the day to get her up out of her chair to go to the bathroom and walking around a bit. She can use a walker once she’s up – yesterday at the hospital she walked from her room to the doors by herself with a nurse by her side -- but it’s getting up from a sitting position that’s the big problem, and if she falls, it’s impossible to get her up without professional help. We thought of getting a wheelchair, but it won’t fit through the bathroom door, and there is still the problem of getting her from the wheelchair to the toilet or to her bed without her folding up and falling. Ideally, I’d like a live-in caregiver for them, but there’s no possible way we could afford that.

I don’t know what to do, and it’s really worrying me and stressing me out. My appetite is poor and I find it hard to sleep at night. And I have a full time job to attend to as well. Whenever I try to talk to someone at the hospital about it, I just get passed on to someone else who has no answers either. I really don’t think they care. I don't know where to turn. Does anyone have any suggestions?