My daughter is five years old and still doesn't have full control of her bladder. She was potty trained at 14mths by my husband at the insistence of his mother and, for a while, she was dry throughout the day. When she was two and a half, my eldest daughter started school so was gone all day and in the same week we moved house and the girls had bedrooms of their own, where they had been sharing before. Not long after this she started having little accidents, unfortunately it was made into a big deal by various family members and the problem escalated. She's now five and hasn't improved. We've had complaints from the school and now they want to send her to a clinic, not because they think its medical but because they think its psychological. I have underactive thyroid as does my mom and I just wondered if anyone has a child with underactive thyroid and if little accidents are related?
Parents of children who experience incontinence accidents during the day should treat this problem with understanding and patience. It sounds like you've got the right attitude and concerns. Incontinence itself is an anxiety-causing event. Strong bladder contractions leading to leakage in the daytime can cause embarrassment and anxiety that lead to wetting at night.
Experts suggest that anxiety-causing events occurring in the lives of children ages 2 to 4 might lead to incontinence before the child achieves total bladder control. Anxiety experienced after age 4 might lead to wetting after the child has been dry for a period of 6 months or more. Such events include angry parents, unfamiliar social situations, and overwhelming family events such as the birth of a brother or sister.
I'd suggest that you follow up by attending the clinic with your daughter and learning as much as you can about ways to support her. Here's a site that might help you start your research: Urinary incontinence in children
She could also have urethral stenosis. It is an abnormal tightness of the urethra. Symptoms include accidents, bedwetting and anxiety due to the embarassment. I had this when I was younger. It would not hurt to take her to the doctor and mention it. But it could be simply anxiety, the big deal your family members made as well as the big deal the school is making is not helping her. But usually there is an underlying problem. She wets herself first, before the "big deal" is made over her wetting herself. I'd see a pediatrician, just to check things out.