I've been reading some posts and I'm officially horrified! I'm bp-I live w/ my bf now-we've been off n' on for 2 1/2 years (my stupid)I don't want my bf to suffer but up until recently we had always been sure of getting married, I still want to get married but I'm not sure how he feels anymore we just realized that I am totally bp and he said he's glad that I'm trying to get help but I'm worried that he's not gona stay w/ me I don't blame him but I love him and I've put him through SO MUCH i just don't know I'm hoping it will be ok. Can anyone w/ BP have a decent relationship? Do I have to die alone for the good of everyone else. I love this guy so much and he loves me but after all this I don't think he's sure whether or not he wants to stay w/ me. Please people who have a bp loved one tell me your life isn't miserable and happiness w/ ur bp bf/gf is possible!
Worrying doesn't help. If you are in treatment, and are committed to improving you'll be able to sustain a successful relationship. A lot of the accounts of people you hear from here are with someone who quite frankly is out of control. There are likely other cracks too in the relationship that we don't hear in the posts. I had and have relationships with some people with bipolar. Not romantic ones.
To be honest, it can be hard for the other person sometimes. I heard someone say that bipolar is a selfish disease. I agree. I also think that can be said about any condition that sometimes leads to the unexpected or just requires people to be more understanding. I have experience with my own!
So many people are different. The bad accounts don't foretell your future. It doesn't mean people will always walk out on you. We all experience some of that during our lives anyway.
You have bipolar. As my therapist said to me, "stop pathologizing yourself" when I was feeling that I was a condition or a sum of symptoms. You're still you, just with bipolar. That's the way I would hope you would see it. It's not a kiss of death. Many people with bipolar are also loved dearly.
You won't read all those accounts here! This forum is essentially for advice about problems (real or imaginary) or to vent. That's my opinion from posts I wrote and ones I read. They are often written when someone is exceptionally frustrated or feeling wounded.
I love my sister-in-law. She has bipolar. She can be so energetic and excited about things sometime. It's a nice quality to have.
I am in a bp relationship 2+years now I thought for a while that it would drive me over the edge I am "normal" which I believe is over rated. Since IO have visited these forums and have gotten some education my thoughts now are that when she has an episode I just ride it out and and assure her that I love her and sooner or later we get off the roller coaster and pick a quiet non stressful time to talk about it. She may be BP but when she is normal she is the best I love her dearly and pray for her every nite it must be horrible. Hang in there the good times outweigh the bad
Quit those "I am bp" or "I am in a bp relationship", you ARE not bipolar, you are a person that has bipolar disorder, you are not in a bipolar relationship, you are in a relationship with someone that has got bipolar disorder...
Bp also stands for blood pressure!
Enough playing with words, I am in a very good relationship that lasts for the past 2,5 years although I have bipolar disorder!
Note that I AM NOT bipolar, I am Smaro and I have bipolar disorder, but I also have other qualities that compensate for that!
Having bipolar disorder does not mean you have to see yourself as a sick person or as a mistake of nature, you (we) were chosen to have this disorder because you can stand it, you are strong and will endure, normal people are so weak in front of it but we are warriors, wear your diagnosis as a medal and don't see it as a burden, it enables us to explore ourselves better than those "common people", it can be a blessing in disguise... if we see it this way!
I have bipolar and am in a loving relationship with my boyf who is talking of a marriage proposal in August. I will also be moving countries to join him. While I was diagnosed 4 years ago and have been well ever since, i relapsed 3 months ago and have been up and down - feeling more side effects of the lithium. When I told my boyf last year I was bipolar it didn't really register with him. He is supportive but my own paranoia can't help thinking he'll walk out and i can't stop thinking the bipolar will drive him away eventually. I do think bipolar can make relationships very difficult. i've only really accepted my diagnosis since i relapsed, these last 4 years i have had a wonderful remission and been in denial while still getting my blood work done/going to doctor consultations. Am feeling more of the burden of the illness now. my boyf is on his way here for the wkend, and last wkend i was a total mess so am thinking, is it the right time to be discussing things like marriage, I should wait till i am fully over the relapse?
I am currently in a relationship. I told my bf that I had bipolar within the first two weeks of meeting him. I met him in Feb 2009 and by June, I was hospitalized due to the bp. He made sure I got to the appointments and was very comforting. However I really don't think that he understood the disorder because one day he complained that I am very moody...lol! I tried to explain more about my symptoms but it was kind of hard because a lot of times I wasn't even aware of the changes in my mood.
I read the post about not dating a person that has bipolar and some of the post made me feel hurt. While I was starting to allow myself get into a funk, my bf called me and I expressed to him how I felt and why. So I asked him if he had a problem with being with me knowing that I have bipolar and he said that he didn't have a problem. I asked him if it was hard to deal with the symptoms that I have, and he said that it is hard but he just deals with the symptoms as they come along and but it can be difficult. I told him that if it is difficult for him, imagine how difficult it is for me when I have to live with my symptoms and do not get the choice of dealing with them or not.
That sounds great and your guy seems really supportive. my bf is very supportive and i think it is my own paranoia and my own hatred towards my bp that makes me think my bf won't love me or marry me. He came to my Dr appt today and was very caring and asking the right questions. BP sufferers can have normal relationships. You're right, there are a lot of negative comments on this forum about getting involved with bp sufferers for the long term. While I feel it's down to the sufferer to first accept their illness (which was my case) it is also the partner's responsibility to educate themselves on how the sufferer is feeling when they are in an episode and how best they can handle it. I feel very sorry for those non bp people who have been in a relationship with a sufferer and had a bad time. There are some great bp sufferers out there who make great partners/bfs/gfs/husbands or wives!
I am the significant other of someone with bp and bpd!
I am very much in love with someone who has bp! I also agree that his bp does not define him in anyway-he suffers from it, but it is not who he is. He is a seriously amazing person regardless of his bp or borderline personality disorder. We've been off and on for 14 months because he keeps trying to protect me, but I won't go anywhere! Everyone who has bp does not have to be alone. I think some choose that because its easier and they may also feel like a burden, but there are many people out there who will love you regardless of your 'problems'. I am now doing everything I can to learn as much as I can about my bf's so that maybe I can help him somehow. I am devoted to him and love him. I will stay with him for as long as he still loves me. Just because you have bp does not mean you are destined to die alone. I am proof of that-I do not have it, but will happily spend my life with someone who does-him! I've lost enough in my life to truly know when someone is worth holding onto and he is more than worth it! I couldn't imagine ever giving him up because it gets hhard sometimes! He just has to realize that I'm really strong enough to handle his lows, he doesn't have to protect me or take care of me, and hopefully I'll get tough enough to not accept it when he doesn't call during his lows-he told me to just show up, so hopefully I can ignore my insecurities enough to do that if/when the time comes again. As long as I know he love me too, he won't be able to get rid of me! And I am positive there are many others out there like me who won't leave because of bp. Suggesting that your partner learns as much as possible about your bp, depression, bpd, whatever, can help the relationship! If they truly love you, they won't have a problem doing this! I didn't when he suggested it and wish I had done it sooner. Maybe then I would've stopped blaming myself much sooner for a lot of his symptoms and lows-I would've realized it wasn't my fault he was 'leaving' and I would've been more 'pushy' to be there when he needed me most but was unable to ask for it! Honesty and getting educated, I believe, are the most powerful weapons against bp, bpd, depression, and everything, and keeping your relationships intact! Don't be afraid to say the truth to your loved ones, don't be afraid to ask for them to get educated, don't be afraid to ask for help, don't be afraid to ask them to lay down with you when you just can't get up, and for when you just can't ask for whatever reason, make it clear that you want them there even when you can't or won't say it! That honesty has helped me a lot, the gf of someone with bpd and bipolar. When he was able to say it, he did, and I'm even more invested in this than I was before. Of course it can get hard for everyone involved, but I believe its worth it in my case. It's up to other people if theyy think it'd be worth it, too!
You're welcome:) I've finally started ttaking my own advice a lot more and it's helping! I actually mentioned to him the other night aboout setting a certain day every week where we'd see each other with or without an okay since I can be a big whimp with just showing up. Now he's mine every Tuesday afternoon unless something important pops up. I really thought he'd say no, so I'm very excited that he was so willing! I'm not as afraid anymore about him disappearing, now that I'm pretty sure he isn't doing it to get away from me!