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Anxiety from everything!!

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I just would like some sort of feed back on the way I feel as I feel very alone in this. My father tells me Im crazy and my boy friend tells me Its in my head and to just stop but its harder then that.

When I was a little girl maybe 8 years old I had my first panic attack, I honestly remember it like it was yesterday.. I thought I was going to die. All the way up till I was about 14-17 I had maybe 3-7 major panic attacks and a lot of just silly ones that pretty much went away after 10 minutes.

After I turned 20 I been having anxiety attacks over the most non sense things ever in my opinion. I feel like I cant enjoy my life because I'm scared of literally everything. At night I cant sleep I have to wait till my body exhausts itself so when I close my eyes I instantly sleep. My boyfriend loves to camp and I think nature is amazing, but as soon as we go and we get somewhere and there is no reception all hell crashes down on me. I start hyperventilating I get headaches thinking something is going to happen and we are so far away from people and we have no reception. For some reason I get horrible anxiety attacks once the bars on my phone disappear and I'm in the middle of nature(nowhere). I get dry mouth and nausea and feel like I just want to die so the feeling of this goes away. I wish I could fully explain why the anxiety comes but really I cant. I just feel distant from communication with people and far away from them. I am going camping tomorrow till Sunday night and have had at least 3 mini panic attacks just thinking about what is going to happen to me. Also I feel bad for my boyfriend because I completely kill the experience for him because I freak out really bad. This is not the only thing that I get anxiety from but one of the big panic attacks I experience. Even when I get sick I become full of anxiety thinking Im going to get very sick and die.

As for a therapist, I have seen some but I feel like I just pay them to listen to me blab and then before I know it the session is over and I don't have insurance so its not cheap for me to just talk to a wall and them tell me see you next week. Im afraid to go on medication, the last time I took meds I freaked out about them making me tired and stressed myself out so bad I ended up vomiting 30 minutes after taking the pill. So Im just wondering if anyone has had the same experience as me? If so do you know how I can find help? I hate living like this :(

Ashley
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replied December 16th, 2011
I understand what your going through. I had a panic attack today, I thought it was a heart attack or stroke... I have anxiety and depression, that's only cause of what I went through in my life. I have had at least 25 panic attacks in my life and im only 18. No one knows how it is intill they go through it them self. My Family thinks im mental, im not I just have none stop thoughts and they pile up too much and cause all kinds of stuff. It's terrible, but there is meds out there, im trying a new meds, I wanted to stop meds forever but apparently I can't live with out them. And I just feel sad about that. Good luck sweetie.
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replied December 19th, 2011
No you are not alone. I panic every single day but I have extreme attacks when I am alone. I feel like there is noone out there that panics as bad as I do. I dont even know sometimes why I panic. If my body feels a little "off" i panic, if I eat too much(get too full)then Im afraid i am going to give myself a heart attack and I start burping, my chest starts hurting, I swallow alot of air.etc.., if one of my kids get sick I think its life threatening, if my dr wants to try me on a new med I freak out because im afraid I will have side effects from it.
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replied July 5th, 2012
Anxiety About Everything, Helpful Stuff
hi, its fine, i would not go on meds because that just makes things so much worse for you, you will have to depend on meds then. Try understanding what causes it and question yourself every time you get one of those worrying thoughts, so you make yourself understand. The worrying thoughts are not true sometimes they are based on true things but when you actually question the thought its not true what so ever. Just to let you know people are always judging you, but you are who you are, you cant be different, you cant control other people other people cant control you, you are who you are, think positive. Also try to get out as much as you can, the more you are by yourself the more negative thoughts you get, just let the thoughts go by you like its nothing which it isn't. Theres 2 quotes that i like ill tell u them, we are what we think, and if its meant to be then its meant to be. no need to worry about it. I had serve anxiety, it started when i was like 15 and i just kept getting worse and worse till i hit 17 and went to a therapist its been almost a year now and im 18 now and i see her once a month now. Your fine its just an obstacle in life that you have to get over. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. Theres 20 million others in the usa i think.
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