ok let me start this off with saying how messed up i have been and can be. this goes out to whoever wants to hear someone else's weird story of inner delimmas. ok. well i have gotten to the point in my life where i dont care how people see me, because i am who i am no matter what, take me or leave me. ok. the weird thing about me is that i have had anxiety really bad and trust me it gets worse as you get older, it may change, but the intensity of it can only get worse. there is treatment and things one can do for it, but let me tell you, i have had panic attacks since high school. anyways, i dont wanna tell a sob story, because thats not my intentions. i just feel like sharing this interesting slab of information that has come from within myself to the outside world, kind of. so...i dont seem messed up yet.. so why did i say am i so messed up earlier? because anxiety attacks will alter anyone's brain if you're not careful. youll lose all feeelings in your hands and feet, youll start breathing incredibly fast, your heart will pound out of your chest, and then your vision can get blurred, and sometimes if you are not in a place where you can control it you can actually fall out, or in other words black out and forget whats going on around you, basically its a huge step away from reality and not a pleasant one. thats why i refuse to do drugs, even the herbal ones, because i know if i get high, the possibility of me freaking out subconciously (this is also from self experience) is increased to a point that i know i will probably have an attack so bad that i'll start running a false alarm fever and even start puking. its really embarassing, but not really anymore, because i just think the human body is a strangely incredible thing. Ok, so does anyone have any questions on anxiety attacks etc? I'm sure I can answer just about anything.