So, a few days ago I was listening to a radio commercial and it was lying out anxiety symptoms...What caught my attention was "do you constantly worry?" The answer is yes, I do. What I worry about is making sure people don't get upset with me, because when they do I get hard on myself, and just completely shut down.

This all started back when I graduated high school. I did volunteer work but never was paid for anything, and everytime I did something everyone loved me for it. I try to please people all the time, and when they are pleased I am pleased.

Anyways, I started working in this office right after I graduated high school as an assistant for about 15 hours a week. The woman made me so nervous that for two months straight I shook for three hours and by the time I was done I was exhausted. All I did was file papers and answer the phone! She admitted to me that she was bipolar. She made me nervous because I never knew what she was talking about. One minute she would be willing to talk and the next she just wasn't. I felt as though I didn't know when to talk and when not to, and sometimes when I asked questions she would flat out ignore me.

Ever since that experience (which ended once summer was over and college started) I haven't really been employeed. I have babysat and mowed grass with my dad and have worked at my college for some extra gas money, but nothing more. I'm comfortable working those. I know the people around me at all times, and I am confident...

I need a new car and since it is summer I thought I would try and get an actual job. My friend told me that a fast food place in my area was hiring, so I applied, and got the job. I was happy then, but within hours of getting the job I started shaking...

The night before I went in for "orientation" (just signing documents) I was shaking and nervous and had nightmares all night. I didn't know what all I would have to do, which scared me. After I realized what was going on I was okay. It was sitting and signing documents...

In reality, I will be handling food, running register, handling cash, dealing with customers, etc. When I get nervous I tend to feel anxious, worrying I am going to mess up and get yelled out, worrying that something is going to happen to me while I am there (I.E. pass out, get sick, etc) because when I get nervous and everything I feel light headed and dizzy.

I worry about not impressing people, making them think I am strange. I worry about talking about this to people because I don't want them thinking I am not a good person, have issues, etc.

I don't know what to do for this. I hate feeling this way. I hate worrying about this stuff all the time. I have tried talking to my partner of 5 1/2 years about it and he doesn't understand. He is the most care-free person I know...he doesn't worry, doesn't think about things like this.

I just do not know what to do or how to help myself feel better.