Should I be angry at my Mom for this?
My mother and father divorced when I was 2 years old. From age 2 to present (1, my mother has never taught me how to do anything important. For example, she never taught me proper hygeine, how to discipline myself, or anything else in that category. I don't consider her a mother. I will never have respect for her in any way.
As a result of lack of discipline, I failed two grades, but luckily I found a private school and eventually got my diploma. I have also had $3,000 dollars of dental bills which my father had to pay for. She also payed for my braces and was never concerned about the health of my teeth. (Yes, even if she payed for braces)
I'm very critical of her intelligence level because at age 18 I am more aware of the importance of discipline and authoritative action than her.
The other day I told her how I felt about her failure to properly discipline me and teach me about dental hygeine. She responded with "What's wrong with your smile? It's pretty!" That only made me cry. Literally. She still doesn't understand the horror of bad teeth. Now my teeth are fixed, so they LOOK fine, but she just doesn't understand the point I am trying to make and never will.
I DO blame her for most of my problems, however appreciate her for providing sustinence. That's all, though.
At age 18, I finally moved in with my dad and I plan to go to college soon. I also work now. I've improved myself, no thanks to her, though.
Do you think my discipline and dental problems my own fault? or do you blame my mother for not taking the responsibility of molding a healthy child? or do you blame the root of all the problems: the divorce? I want to hear all opinions.
Peopole should not have children if they are not willing to adhere to all of the responsibilities for their entire lifetime (as parenting never stops).
When you brought up a bother of yours to your mom, she responded poorly. In which I would not be pleased either.
My mom is a lot like yours (based on your description) she'll spend the money but not the time. During your childhood you don't care about money, you only care obout time, and attention.
Your mom seems to have let you down a great deal in several areas, for which hopefully she can still compensate for.
I would suggest (assuming you have any fight left in you) that you both go to counselling together and get out there and heard.
You clearly have no responsibility for whatever has happened or has not happened(I mean for the things you've not learned) because it is not your responsibility to know things, you're supposed to be taught things.
Now that your teeth are fixed and that you have taken steps to improve your situation, it's time to move on. You need to stop dwelling on the past. Your mom may have had some hard times, didn't know what she was doing, or whatever the reason....being a mother is the hardest job in the world and there is no school or boot camp that can prepare anyone for the hard reality of what it is.
She did try to rectify the situation and now you are fine. I think it is best to look at the present situation and not dwell on the things that happened. Look at the future and don't reflect on the past because it will only keep you from moving forward.
If you are taking the time to consider whether or not you should be angry or not is a clear sign that deep down inside you know that you shouldn't be angry with her for her mistakes, which she did rectify. What happens now is your own decision and not anyone else's fault but your own, so take charge of your own life now with your fresh start. Best of luck.
This will be hard for you to hear, and I don't say this to be mean, but I hope that when you are older and more mature, you will see how selfish you sound. You are so young and 18 is a time of big changes and your identity is forming so I knwo you are looking for answers but blaming your mother is not going to help you.
I had a rough time with my own parents when I was in my late teens and early twenties but as I got older, I am 34 now, I realised that my parents are people too, with plenty of faults, just like me. Maybe your mother didn't know how to teach you oral hygeine, or didn't realise she had to since you were seeing dental professionals. Perhaps your mother, like my father, grew up with no money and as an adult he prized it as the gateway to opportunity, never realising that you craved something else. There are lots of possibilities but I do not doubt that your mother loves you or that she knows she could have done a better job.
So my answer is no, you shouldn't be angry with your mother. Try to learn about how she grew up and it might explain her to you so you can understand why and how she became the person she is. That has been very helpful for me. And yes, time, experience in life, experience from mixing with different people and being in different situations will colour your opinions about your mother and others and you should find that every couple of years your views will have changed, evolved and matured.
Don't waste your most creative, free, beautiful years being angry with your mother. Do what makes you happy and have the relationship you can stand to have with your mother.