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Angry and violent temper that can't be controlled

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I have a major violent streak.
First of all I have ADD & I'm bipolar. I'm currently taking Celexa and it's working very well for me. I stopped taking adderol because I'm not in school and it's expensive when you are uninsured.
I'm 28 yrs old female, and I have a very bad temper when provoked. Before the medication I would get mad for no reason. Now when I do get mad it's for a reason. When I am sober I'm fine, but I find that when I have a few drinks in me a couple of wrong words will make me want to beat someone senseless. There has been one incident where a women slammed on her brakes in front of me in the rain, I flipped out( I was sober) and cracked my windshield punching it. I didn't even remember punching my windshield.
Usually when I drink I'm fine, but if I get irritated repeatedly I will assault someone. I have 4 assaults on my record, due to not being able to control my temper. That's the problem. I can't control myself when I'm angry and if you get in my way regardless of who you are I can't stop, I'm scared I'm going to kill myself or someone else one of these days. I honestly don't know what to do.
I'm very small too, 100lbs and 5 ft tall, and the thing is I'm really nice, I'm super friendly and helpful but when I'm angry I can't control myself. I become someone I don't even know and I have to punch something. I've seriously hurt many ppl who have come across me and I don't want to be that person, I abhor violence, yet can't control my temper. I don't know where all the anger or strength comes, and it scares me. I will start shaking from being so angry, I have actually blacked out from being so angry.
Do you think that if I go back on my ADD meds it can help me with my explosive temper? I have a good reaction with my meds, it's just I don't want to have to take too many and if I don't have to take and pay for my adderol I would prefer not to take it while I'm not in school.
I really need help. I'm looking for a counselor to help me address my issues.

I read that ppl who commit domestic violence are like pedophiles, they never can stop. I really don't want that to be the case with me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I would never and could never kill someone, but what if I accidentally do it one day because I can't handle myself?

Please I would like any help I can get.
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First Helper hallyne
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replied March 20th, 2011
I have the same problem. I am on adderall though. I take 45 mg a day and i am 5 ft tall. I am just afraid if this medication doesnt work anymore something really bad is going to happen. I havent been diagnosed with bi-polar yet but in my own opinion something is wrong with me. My mom even said i was a psycho-path but currently in control. How scary is that? We werent fighting or anything, just a mild conversation with my mom my sister and i. They said it so non- chalantly i almost exploded right then and there. Seriously if they already knew why didnt anyone tell me the signs before i saw them myself?!!!! I don't think medication will help these outrages. I have a little one so i really try hard to keep myself in check. I know for a fact nothing but your own self control is going to help you. Just try and remember that you, the REAL you is always in control. I know better than most people with add or adhd in my case that this is more than just a chemical imbalance. It is on the verge of a personality phycotic disorder. Stay strong, know who you are, who you want to be, and hopefully that will be enough. I fell off the wagon just a day or two ago and i feel like crap! We both know i will feel this way for a long time. There is nothing more satisfying than knowing you can beat yourself. I know you are frustrated but trust one easily provoked woman of about the same size to another you can over come this, it takes a lot of practice and busted windshields or faces but you can do it. Just dont expect to be perfect.... no one is no matter how hard we try. Keep your head up and remember you are the only one/thing that can help you..... medication only goes so far! You will be alright i just know it.
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replied April 1st, 2011
If you were properly medicated, you wouldn't have such a raging temper. The prison system is full of people with psychiatric disorders of some type or another and are not criminals.They are people that needed to address their problems and never did. Then end up in prison for losing it at the wrong time or place. I commend you for asking for help.
It sounds like you need the right combo of meds and therapy. At your age you shouldn't be so out of control of your emotions. I would think adding Amphetamines/CNS stimulants to the mix would make you worse. Just my opinion.

PS- I used to have a violent temper like you and am now medicated properly. I haven't "lost it" in years.
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replied January 9th, 2012
How do I manage depression and anger?
I have endured many losses in my life, Mother, father, 3 sisters, a brother, a husband and most recently my daughter ( a year ago due to suicide). I do not seem to have the ability to find the good in what I do since her death. I don't seem to have a switch to turn on to help control my reactions from loving to angry. I do have control most of the time with my anger yet once I over indulge in alcohol I lose control and hurt the ones that love me the most. The use of alcohol is the easier of the two issues to control. I can live without it. However, I can't seem to face the days after my bad behavior. I go deeper into depression. Today I feel like hiding away where no one can see the real sadness in me. Tomorrow I have to get myself up and going and act as if I'm the best thing since sliced bread because I have a job interview for a better job which will help me have a better lifestyle. Can any one help me shake this?
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replied March 30th, 2012
Hey, im on this website looking for help , im 14, and seriosly cant controll myself, anything i touch in that "outrage" is broken or in peices, its little things that screw me up. i know it sounds childish, and unimportant, but my mum, iv said things to my mum, that should never be said to anyone. iv tried locking myself in my room , but i just end up punching myself, iv gone to cutting myself, cuz of my anger. im afraid whatever i do to myself and other things in my room , would be the same thing to someone other than in my room. once i calm myself down after hours, it mostly after i woken up , i fall asleep crying , cuz of my anger, i wake up not remembering alot of things . if theres any solution to this, reply please
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replied April 12th, 2012
I am a 23 year old female. And i have anger issues i have not been dignosed with anything because i deny that there is anything wrong with me. Im about to lose the love of my life and, will he take our kids? when i get anger i throw things swear, scream, and i cant control it, but after im done and calmed down i realize what i did was wrong. they say think before you speak, well i speak then think. why?
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replied July 28th, 2012
Experienced User
I'm in the same situation except I've already lost the love of my life and I'm trying to get her back. WE are not married. She broke it off with me on June 20th. I was diagnosed on July 20th as having Adult ADD. I wrote her a letter explaining what has happened and she sent me an e-mail back saying that she was happy that I was seeking help, but that she was seek guidance from the Lord before she responds to my letter in greater depth. You should go and see someone ASAP. I'm on Wellbutrin at the moment.
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replied July 10th, 2012
Im a 14 year old girl and find myself angry all the time i get mad at everyone. My little bro n sis, 3 n 6. They r constantly getting on my nerves its not only them its my mom too i guess its my whole family. My mom makes me so mad (along with my siblings) that i dont no what to do. I find myself crying bc i get so mad. When i get like this i try to walk away but she sends Tommy n Chanel (my siblings) wherever i go. So the problem is never solved. I usually try to write about what im feeling but tht does no good. Im a big fan of Michael Jackson i love him so i often try to listen to his music to calm my nerves tht doesnt hold me off so well. Its getting to the point where i cant stand my family exept for my dad hes the only one who understands me. Im getting hardly any sleep bc i try to stay awake and be by myself at night and get a break from everyone so im constantly tired. My anger is beginning to affect me very badly im starting to get mad at every little thing idk what to do. Plzz help me tell me whats wrong. U dont no how much i would appreciate it if someone responds to me
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