anger & noises

I was diagnosed with adhd and major depression about 1 year ago.The main problem I face is my temper.I am very irritable and have been on several ADHD and depression medications.The all do little to nothing to help me with my anger.Little things can set me off.Sometimes it is so ridiculous that if I take a minute and think about it I am ashamed of myself.Like I argue with my husband about him leaving his shoes out when the whole house is a mess because I was looking for something and left my stuff scattered across the floor.But HIS shoes are the last straw and I get into nasty fights with him attacking him for things that have nothing to do with it. "You are lazy,stupid,...etc." Those are the "harmless" insults I throw his way.

I have been in CBT Therapy for about 2 years no with little sucess and I wonder wheter I should find a different Therapist or type of Therapy for my anger problem.
Another question I have is this: What can I do about getting better in tolerating noises.I am really sensitive to them.A car alarm in the distance or music playing in the background can really irritate me because it is so distracting.Unfortunatly you can't always shut noises out in life,so how can I desensitize myself to them? Again on this particular issue medications do nothing for me.