Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

Anger issues ?

Ok, Hi I just first off want to thank everyone for reading this post.

I'm in a 4 year relationship with my fiance. We use to fight A LOT but recently he realized he needs to change I need to change too but, Anyways, My problem is, I get so frusterated. Like certain things he does just irritates me and i get made and somtimes hurt him, and myself as well.

for example, valentines day, we had just gone out for ice cream and a movie or so, and our friends asked us to go bowling. he said no because we want to save money, then i start in and say you always say that, but if its something you want to do you say ok sure... anyways i got mad i was yelling, and just got a huge attitude at him. and actually hit him a couple times in the shoulder. THEN i get mad at myself for doing that and i scratch myself. but it doesnt hurt me... anyway...

I just have these little spurts of anger, I don't know if this is the catagorey for this topic but i didnt know where to post it. My fiance says we arnt gonna get married if we cant calm down on this fighting we do! at least for a month. I've been doing good so far. but i dunno. Maybe i need to talk to someone??
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replied February 24th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Change before you marry...
I guess my best advice to you would be to change before you marry or else don't get married....Things do not get easier with a wedding ring on....In fact, they probably get more difficult....I have a temper....I have a mouth big enough for two sets of teeth....I flare up easily, but I am married to a man who tolerated this....He waited for a child to grow into a woman and learn to shut her mouth....It took me some time, but I made it....Love will only go so far and then you deal with your other half looking at you with the I have had enough attitude.....It is at that time that you learn to kiss ***....

Learn to work together....If you get mad then shut your mouth....If you have to count to 25 do it....If that isn't enough go to 100.....I am not talking about if it is his fault, but yours....You, like I knew and know when we are wrong....I know I still fight her....

Now about the scratching and cutting....There you had better think twice....Why are you doing it?....If you need help and then get it....We are here for you all the time...Day in and day out....This really is quite a place....As much as I thought I knew about life, I have found that I had barely touched the surface of the wealth of information out there....

I guess I just told you a story about me, but maybe in part it is about you.....When we do these things we are spoiled....We want our own way and we will go to any place or do anything to prove our point....Believe me, been there and done that.....

Much luck to you,
Caroline
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replied February 24th, 2009
ANGER???
Life is wierd we have so many things that we need to learn here.. one of the important ones is handling our emotions.. and when we can do that imagine what life will be like for us..unfortunately no where in schools or at homes we are taught this most important lesson that we need to learn.. but fortunately there is a course called the art of living.. its just a wonderful course that has changed the lives of people like you and me and of millions of people all around the world.. I am sure it will help u.
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replied February 24th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Hi Happilycherry: I have added your Topic to the Self Injury Forum for possibly more response...For me, reading your post has been eye opening....I wonder if years ago and before we were married, if he would have tolerated my behavior had we lived together?....You see this was not done in my day....I only saw him 47 days out of two years before we were married....He was in the Navy......

I think you have to ask yourself a question....Do you love him with your heart and soul?.....Would you fly to the moon with him?.....I would have....Just make sure that you are in love and not in "like"....

I wish you well.....
Caroline
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replied April 30th, 2009
Supporter
Do you think your bipolar? you should check to make sure your not, if you are you can get medications for that.
you cant get mad at him for that reason you have to respect his difference of opinion, thoughts, desires...etc.
you should see you doctor and a therapist.
if you don't have insurance you should research the symptoms of bipolar, self injury, anger management..etc
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