I get insane amounts of anger when I talk with my husband. He can mention somthing about going out with his little brother and i just flush and my blood starts to boil. Deep down inside me I know he would never do anything to cheat me. But i just become an unstable mess... I start with yelling and hitting things, then I get thoughts of suicide and don't understand why I should be alive and feel this pain and anger that I feel and always ends up with me on the floor or in my bed face down in pillows crying. What is wrong with me?
You think about yourself and your feelings too much. Happened with me a year back went through an episode that totally changed me, now I know itz gor better but at that time I used to feel such lain and such intense anger that I would break things, could not breathe, cry like someone was ripping my insides and used to struggle with self garm. I used to keep thinking about suicide too buy because in really really religious I couldnt do it. So I wud cry to God at why hez keeping me alive. Finally slowly slowly I realized that I was concentrating too much on what I was feeling. I had to stop throwing myself a pity party and start trying to distract myself. It was not easy but in better now.