first off, as hard as this will be, you NEED to tell your parents ASAP.
They have a right to know about this, and can help you figure out the next step.
Second, you really need to dit down and figure out what your going to do, be it keep the baby, abort or put it up for adoption.
but you need to start figuring this all out now.
You could talk to a school counsellor and tell him or her about this, and arrange a supervised sit in with your parents so you can tell them that you are pregnant, and you all could figure out what the next step should be.
These days, they have open adoptions, where you get updates on how the child is doing and so on, that could be an option.
You could abort if you do not want to go through with this pregnancy because of the health complications, no one would judge you for doing so, its your choice, and something that could be best for you.
or you could keep the baby,
it will be hard work, expensive and tiresome, but if that is what you think you can do its your choice too.
But i would strongly suggest talking this all over with your parents, like i said, they need to know and have a right to know, and can help you figure out the next step.
Do it soon though.
If you need to talk PM me anytime.
Good luck.

I mistyped, sorry. Im only 6 weeks along. I get out of school in less than a month, and I have two weeks then, where I'll be the only one home, and I can go to doctors appointments and such.
My mom has said several times that if I get pregnant before i finish university, she'll kick me out.

then you need to tell them now.
i mean there is no easy way around this.
you made a mistake,you need to own up to it and deal with it.
not talking about this will not make things any easier.
And my mom used to say that to me too.
But at the time i got pregnant i was out of her house, yet still only 18.
she was mad, she knew before i told her, but she came around and helped me alot.
you need to tell her so you can figure out what to do, address these health problems and figure out what you are going to do.
you need help in doing this hun.
do it now before this secret becomes something that will no be a secret anymore.
Your tummy will show a pregnancy. and i doubt you want to be layering sweatshirts on you while in the sun and 2x hotter while being pregnant.

You definitely need to confide to your mother. Mothers say a lot of things but when it comes down to it you are her daughter and that is a bond that cannot be broken. I know it is scary. Trust me I have been there. Curious on your health problems?

basically, I have had three collapsed lungs in the last few months, along with a severe vitamin deficency. I've gone to a few doctors and they've told me that I need to go see a lung specialist. They also told me what they thought it could be. Tuberculosis, Lung cancer, complications from asthma, chronic broncitius or that I have holes in my lungs that are causing this. I can't go to school on a regular basis(I'm in so much pain that I can't walk to the bus stop), and I can't really do much except lie in bed.

Sweetheart you really need to fill your parents in. Your health definitely raises some major questions. That is a lot for any 16 year old to handle. Have you seen an actual obstetrician? If you already have a vitamin deficiency when you are pregnant the mother (meaning you) suffers from vitamin deficiency anyway. The baby takes from you as it needs nourishment to grow. Sit your parents down and tell them. Yes, they will probably be upset. With your extenuating medical conditions I believe you might find they are more worried about your health and what to do then being mad at the actual pregnancy. I do not know that it will happen like that but you must have faith and try.

I will be offline for a bit but I will check back later. I had my first child at age 16. I know exactly what you are going through. I am willing to listen if you want.

I just don't know how to tell them... This all so confusing!

Okay first of all have you seen a doctor? Second what do you want? I am going to talk with you as an adult. When you made the decision to have sex like an adult now is not the time to be thinking like a kid. I know very hypocritical, as you are in your life somewhere between child and young adult. Let me share a story with you. I will make it short. I was date raped at age 15. My oldest a result born when I turned 16. I turned to my best friend. We had planned to have an abortion. I was petrified to tell my parents. I know it wasnt my fault but I still felt as if I still let them down. That they would look at me with such disappointment, and I couldnt bare that. I wanted to keep the baby and then again I was scared to the what if? Long story Christmas 86 my friend went out of town with her family. She broke and told her mom, who in return called mine. The look on my mothers face when she called me downstairs on Christmas morning. When she asked me my first response was I lied. It was my friend not me. Then an overwhelming sobbing moment came over me and I broke down and told my mom the truth. She was disappointed and she was upset. But she was right there with me the whole way. My mom was in the delivery room when I gave birth to a 8lb 15oz baby boy! I remember the docs talking a lot and my mom immediately praying God please...... I woke up with a result that I was hemorrhaging. Come to find out I have a blood disorder. I remember the day I was discharged the doc came in my room where my mom and my friend was helping me get ready. The doc told me I was very lucky that if I had stuck to my original plan I would have died. The abortion clinic wouldnt have known my disorder and I would have bled to death. I looked at my friend and sobbed. She saved my life and my sons. I shutter to think of the what if? I had my story together I was telling my mom I was going shopping and spending the night with my friend. My mother and father would have kissed me goodbye and that would have been my last goodbye. I know you are overwhelmed! I know you are scared! But now is not the time to withdraw into a shell. If you cannot tell them in person, write a letter. Asking them to please think before they react. That you need them now and you are ready to listen to their emotions. Be ready for them to approach you. Be honest with them. Explain to them you are scared to approach them in person and you didnt want to take the coward approach of a letter but this was the best way for you to convey to them your situation and your fears. I really hope this has helped?

That did help, thank you. I have a friend at school who is helping me through this. She's making sure I get all my vitamins and such, and telling me the pros and cons of having a baby vs abortion. She's done both, and she said that if I wanted to go get an abortion, she would drive me, but I'm still not sure about what I should do.

you cant just rely on friends here. An abortion could put you at serious risk as well as this pregnancy. you need to tell your parents and get to a doctor so the doctor can determine if you are healthy enough to have an abortion or carry the baby or whatever you decide to do.

Alright. Where I live though, at 16, you are allowed to make your own medical decisions and such. And I can't make an appointment with any doctor until I get out of school in three weeks.

I am somewhat relieved that you have confided in a friend. But this is what makes you very much still a child. YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR PARENTS! No sugar coating it anymore. Ultimately the decision is yours. Last I checked 32 states allow a 16 year old to make the decision for abortion with out parental consent, the others require parent consent period. What if something happens to you? How would you feel knowing you could possibly leave your parents in a world of hurt and confusion. Your friend has done both? Although she is somewhat capable of giving her opinion she is not who is responsible for you. If you are living under your parents roof and they are supporting you then you do owe it to them to help you with your decision. A parent will take you to the doctor and let them decide whats in the best interest for you health. At this point you are ruling out the person who holds the most important decision. Only a physician will know what your body can survive.

AliceNatayliah, you do not have to tell your parents. You can get a judicial bypass to have an abortion without involving your parents.

Get out a telephone book and look up the closest "Planned Parenthood" clinic. Call them and ask them as many questions about all of this as you want. They can also tell you how to get a judicial bypass.

Good luck.

An abortion is the SAFEST MEDICAL PROCEDURE there is. Please do not give false information.
This is a quote from Brown University:

"Legal abortion, carried out by trained medical practitioners, is one of the most common and safest surgical procedures. About 1.5 million American women choose to have induced abortions each year."

kyrafaith was correct in her statement! To quote an abortion is the SAFEST MEDICAL PROCEDURE there is? Times and medical equipment have made an abortion procedure a lot more safer than in early history. HOWEVER, with any medical procedure there are risks!

Heavy Bleeding - Some bleeding after abortion is normal. However, if the cervix is torn or the uterus is punctured, there is a risk of severe bleeding known as hemorrhaging. When this happens, a blood transfusion may be required. Severe bleeding is also a risk with the use of RU486. One in 100 women who use RU486 require surgery to stop the bleeding.

Infection � Infection can develop from the insertion of medical instruments into the uterus, or from fetal parts that are mistakenly left inside (known as an incomplete abortion). A pelvic infection may lead to persistent fever over several days and extended hospitalization. It can also cause scarring of the pelvic organs.

Incomplete Abortion - Some fetal parts may be mistakenly left inside after the abortion. Bleeding and infection may result.

Sepsis � A number of RU486 or mifepristone users have died as a result of sepsis (total body infection).

Anesthesia � Complications from general anesthesia used during abortion surgery may result in convulsions, heart attack, and in extreme cases, death. It also increases the risk of other serious complications by two and a half times.

Damage to the Cervix - The cervix may be cut, torn, or damaged by abortion instruments. This can cause excessive bleeding that requires surgical repair.

Scarring of the Uterine Lining � Suction tubing, curettes, and other abortion instruments may cause permanent scarring of the uterine lining.

# Perforation of the Uterus - The uterus may be punctured or torn by abortion instruments. The risk of this complication increases with the length of the pregnancy. If this occurs, major surgery may be required, including removal of the uterus (known as a hysterectomy).

Damage to Internal Organs - When the uterus is punctured or torn, there is also a risk that damage will occur to nearby organs such as the bowel and bladder.

Death - In extreme cases, other physical complications from abortion including excessive bleeding, infection, organ damage from a perforated uterus, and adverse reactions to anesthesia.


You are telling a 16yr old she can get a judicial bypass. True when these grounds are met without reasonable doubt by the judge.
# You are mature and sufficiently well informed about your pregnancy options to make the decision without a parent or legal guardian being involved.
# It is not in your best interest for your parent or legal guardian to be notified.
# Notification of a parent or legal guardian could lead to physical, sexual, or emotional abuse of you.

I ask are any of the above true?

#3 is true, actually. In the area of canada I live in, a 16 year old is legally able to get an abortion without parental consent as long as the doctor believes that she understands the procedure and all other risks. As it is, I make all my medical decisions anyways, as my parents are usually to busy to come with me. As far as I know, there are no planned parenthood clinics in the area I live in.
The abortion clinic I will be going is located inside the local hospital, so if anything happens, I'll be able to access care right away. Abortion is also a medical procedure covered by Provincial health care and therefore, I dont need to pay anything out of pocket.

Can you explain why #3 bares truth?

I have been physically and emotionally abused by my father since I was about...12-ish. He'caca me, smashed my head against walls, made me stay home from school and stay on the couch all day(no tv, and I wasn't allowed to eat or go to the bathroom until my mom came home at 6). Child services has been called twice and both times he's charmed his way out of any charges. He's also an alcoholic, and won;t let me go out unless i tell him a min. of 2 months in advance. I'm literally counting the day till I graduate and leave.