Hi my name is Candy, I met my husband when I was 15 and he was fantastic he was the best man in the world, however he is norwegian so we were only togther for 9 months until he went home anyway he came back to visit often and after 2 years i got pregnant with my daughter, I moved to norway because he had to finish his apprenticeship and after a few months he had already been really mean to me. I couldnt hang out with his girl mates and he told me he wanted to take them out without me which is fine when i say it in a normal way but he made it sound dirty. He made me feel guilty because I needed him during pregnancy but he just wanted to hang out with his friends until 3am. even after my daughter was born he wouldnt stay home and he said alot of bad things to make me feel bad. I lost confidence I didnt look nice anymore and had no energy to look after my daughter, the hate for myself swelled so deep inside me i began to hit him when he made me feel bad and scream really loud to release the pain but it didnt help and then he started telling me him and my daughter would be better off dead and that i was the abusive one because i didnt want him to go out and cus i hit him and i believed it so i began anti depressants but before they make u feel better they make u worse and i began cutting myself with kitchen scissors on my wrists and thighs and one night i took a load of paracetamol. I wanted to leave with my daughter but where would i go? it was deep winter in norway then and i couldnt take a baby out in that weather with no money or shelter. after new year he left me and things got alot better i looked nice again the bruises faded and i got confident my daughter changed too she was much better and happier and we had formed a tight bond. he met someone else 1 month after he left me and it hurt me alot they were togther for 6 months then he left her and after a few weeks he was back again, saying he was sorry that he would change he even cried. he promised me he would get help and that he would take care of me. I believed him, i remembered the guy he was before i went to norway and i hoped that guy was on his way back to the surface. after a few months i got pregnant with my son. he wanted me to have abortion and as i reached 3 months he said i wasnt allowed an abortion and at christmas just after reaching 12 weeks into my pregnancy he said i could do it by myself now and he was going to go. He left me a few weeks before christmas on my own with a one year old and pregnant in a different country. He still came back now and then for sex though and i was stupid enough to let it go on because i needed that tiny bit of love to get by. he was at the birth and he moved in when i broke my arm and we went to england to visit my family together but we didnt get back together and after a long time had past i finally made the leap and moved back home to england with the kids in november. he came in december for 4 days and we had a great time and now he wants me back but he seems uninterested in me and still parties alot and also he says alot of things to put me down but i love him i want this to work but everyone says I have to be strong and leave him but that scares me so bad i feel the anxiety in my heart. I dont know what to do now. can anyone help me? thank u x