Okay this is very hard for me to ad mitt I am a cutter.I have hid it from everyone It all stared when I lost one of my friend Brian. One of my other friends is a cutter to.Its very hard to talk to people because everyone judges me by what I do.My boyfriend got a glimpse of my arm and saw the cuts and he started to asked me to look him in the eyes and well I told him "no" and then he asked me "What are you achieving by this?" I then answered "one day closer to death".Now every time The subject cutting comes up he always asks me if I have been cutting.I don't know how to tell him that I was cutting our relationship is very serious I don't want to break his heart.I always tell my friend not to cut but I do.I want to stop but I don't know how to and it's very hard I tried to stop when I was 11 but I did not succeed So now I am giving up hope of ever stopping so I only have one thing left to do ask others but I have no one to ask but this site and I always tell myself that I don't deserve to live I did some stupid stuff like jumping in front of trains and climbing the rocks in woods and jump off them and land on the ground I did more stuff but its really bad so I don't want to say.My boyfriend is in Virgina and when he comes home I want to prove to him that there is someone better inside me I want him to know that I really do care about him and that I am really trying to quit cutting.Is there anyway that I can stop within 1 week? Can you please help me this is my first time reveling my dark secret and I just want to stop I want to be a better person. I want to change!Is there anyway someone can give me ideas of how to become a better person and stop cutting.I only have 1 friend and she is a cutter I have no one left in my family to help me so its very hard Please I am Begging for you to help me give me ideas of how to stop.And why does my boyfriend just suddenly care that I cut and wants to know when I do or if I am? I will do what ever it takes to not cut anymore Please please help me