well first you need to talk to her and make sure she knows you have no feelings for her so she wont get her hopes up and just ask her all she could do is say no

nitwit...
i have a few problems with what you've said.
#1 you broke up with this girl and didn't want ANYTHING from her when you did it...
what gives now that makes you think you want to have sex with her? other than she has a nice body and she probably "would give it to you" even if you broke up with her and now you're just hard up and want some? your values don't seem too strong to me. maybe i'm critical though. also, what's wrong with your self-respect? can't you go out and get a new girl? why is this one, the very one you broke up with still of interest to you? just her availability? if that's the case...that's pretty sad.
#2 if you talk to her and tell her that you have zero interest in her, but you'd like to have sex with her anyway because she has a nice body, what do you think you'll do to her sense of dignity? self worth? essentially what you're saying to her is that she's not good enough for your heart, but her vagina and anus are good enough for you to take advantage of? again, those "good values of yours aren't exactly screaming out to me". really, your motives...well, they just seem way wrong.
#3 let's say that you tell her all this and she says "ok, i'm an fool and i have zero self-respect...so do me". she's likely thinking that once you do her, you'll magically wake up and realize that you're in love with her like she's "sure" you are in her head.

i think this is a bad idea (have you gotten that from what i've said so far?). i'm sorry if you think i'm too harsh, but in all honesty, neither of you seem like you have any self-respect...and because of that, i think you're better off alone. go find a girl with a good sense of self-respect and let her guide you into becoming a MAN who really has some high values.

jasmine

Jazzy,
First, thank you for your response, this is feedback i'm interested in. To comment on your points:
#1-You mention "what's wrong with your self-respect? can't you go out and get a new girl?" Well, i've been trying to meet a good girl for about 2 years now with no luck! Everytime I think I find someone that I feel i'm connecting with, they break up w/ me as they come to the realization that they aren't atttracted to me. Trust me, it's a physical think with them as I was born with a congenital defect andd taking off my clothes exposes it! Yes, I know....I must be going after the wrong girl then.....whatever, try being in my shoes and find that sooo called "good girl". So, yea, I agree it may be a little "sad" but I am tired of being kicked to the curb by girls and feel I need some sort of connection w/ a girl, even if it is just physical.
#2 You say "but her vagina and anus are good enough for you to take advantage of?" Am I really taking advantage of her if she agrees to just have the physical? You make it sound like i'm a real creep. I could easily lie and tell her I like her to get what I want but I believe honesty is the best policy. Let me tell you, she is the one that pops the occasional pill for recreation, occasionnally smokes pot, and smokes cigarettes like a chimney. I could not get over those things which is ONE of the reasons I broke up w/ her a couple of years ago. And by the way, she has lied to me several times about being on the pill (which she would not always take as I caught her lying. I'm glad I used a condom every time except once.) I get the feeling she is "hard up" as well.
#3: I do have very high values. As I mentioned before, she used to be my girlfriend and I liked her and attempted to get to know her better. I treated her with a great deal of respect that she wasn't used to. As a matter of fact, she wanted to do anal for the first time w/ me but I said no (even though I wanted it) because I knew we were close to breaking up. Did we have regular sex? Yes, but I turned down what this is all about.
In an ideal world I would be with a girl that I love and want to spend the future with. Unfortunatly, currently that isn't happening. I believe she and I are both hard up and would like a physical release, she just probably has some feelings left over from our relationship of app. two years ago. I don't know what to do here, i'm frustrated, want to explore sexually (anal and other positions) just like most of my friends as they are married. I would appreciate feedback from anyone including Jazzy. Thank you

ok mr. nit...

the additional information makes a big difference. it does explain some things like the self-esteem issue.

i do agree with you when you say that ppl are very shallow and they often make the wrong decisions based on their shallow-ness (if that's a word).

i can even understand under the circumstances why you would just want some non-committed sexual fun. no problem there.

i still think that you need to look for the right girl instead of settling for what you seem to think is DEFINITELY the wrong one! at least for you.

i guess there's nothing wrong with a couple of people having sex, but answer this question to yourself honestly. can she have sex with you and not become attached to you? are you opening up a pandora's box by starting this?

one last thing. i'm not trying to butt into your personal business, but i say this only because people are always way too critical of themselves. maybe what you see as a physical "congenital" defect really shouldn't be as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. is it possible that you're attributing more of the problem to this when in reality, maybe the relationships just weren't meant to last to begin with?

personally, i can't imagine a man having a congenital defect which would be revealed when he took his clothes off that would be a show stopper for me. maybe i'm wrong, and maybe you have something going on that would be a show stopper, but honestly i can't imagine that being an issue.

jasmine