I emailed my friend's neighbour to find out how my friend is doing. His dad is staying with him at his flat. That's a bad sign because his dad only comes down when my friend is in a bad way. I'm really glad my friend is not alone and is alive. Right now I'm switching my self off from this situation for mentality reasons. I asked the neighbour to pass on my contact details to my friend's dad. It's my friend's birthday next week. So I'm going down to visit him and leave a gift/card. I really hope his dad contacts me or I can see what happens next week.
Just checked my emails and no replie from the neighbour. The last email I sent him was asking if he could ask my friend's dad to contact me but he hasn't replied. I have this strong feeling he may not want to get involved especially as my friend's dad is emotionally abusive. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to ask him to ask him to do that.
Here is the story:
My friend and I used to be good friends. Talk on the phone to each other etc. Then it stopped because he became isolated and lost contact with all his friends. He suffers with Social Anxiety and Schizo-affective Disorder. His isolation has caused him a lot of depression and stress. He rarely goes out. Doesn't answer the door or phone to anyone. The only contact he has is with his parents on a three week gap.
We haven't spoken to each other for 18 months. I have sent him a letter once a month and send a text/phone call once every two weeks. I do this because I value his friendship and love him very much.
A year ago, he had a breakdown. When I rang his mobile phone, I got the message, You have dialed an incorrect number. Please check the number and redial. I got very concerned but two weeks later, I dialed the number again. The phone was working.
Six months ago, I went to his flat and became friends with his neighbour. I got very concerned and wanted to know how he was. The neighbour gave me some insight about my friend. Saying he doesn't have anyone come see him and he is extremely isolated. He took my details and informed me he would get in touch the moment he sees my friend. That same day, I was very lucky to knock on his front door and talk to him. My friend didn't answer the door but he was listening.
That evening, his mum rang me to let me know my friend was ok. He wouldn't speak to me on the phone because he was very shy. Laughing and blushing. My friend doesn't have much experience with women. So he blushes and gets shy when I make contact. She did say I could contact her again to find out how he is doing.
After that call, he didn't contact me. I knew with his fear/anxiety he wouldn't. This was six months ago. Since then, I have done the same - one letter a month.
Three months ago, I tried to phone his mobile phone and the same message that happened a year ago. You have dialed an incorrect number. Please try the number and redial. Left it a few months and tried his phone number again last night and it's still the same.
Reasons for my friend's isolation
We just spoke more on the phone more then we did face to face. He got into touch with his other friends but after they didn't bother with him, he sank deeper into isolation. My friend prefers to be with friends in person more then talking on the phone. When we have been together in person, he is very happy. He even admitted to me once in a conversation, that he was happy being with me. Part of my friend's condition is having mood swings. His father is the kind of person, who will snap at him for being moody. You speak only when I say and if you are rued to me, you will get a rued comment said at you. That's what my friend's dad is like. So my friend thinks he is a bad person to be around with. So he avoids all social contact because of his bad experience with his dad.
We used to talk a lot to each other on the phone. He doesn't feel comfortable with hanging around with females due to low experience. When I went down there to speak to him, he was listening. I got in touch with his mum and asked her to contact me to let me know how he was doing. She phoned me and I could hear him lauging, giggling and blushing in the background. His mum said, he was extremely shy to talk to me.