Am i schizophrenic or going to hell???

also increased appetitie and voices saing its my alst meal, also i have been salivating more, pacing, seeig hallucinations of the devil, and hearing my grandother who has passed away saying "where is jesus" over and over again

There are similarities between what you are saying and what has happened to me. Sounds alot like schizophrenia, which isn't what people think it is by the way, you should do everything that you can to find out what is happening to you, the more understanding you have the better off you will be.

If you can just ride it out and be okay, I would just try that, if things get to serious for you, you may need to find some help.

How old are you by the way, you sound young.

And if I might ask, anything wierd happen to you as a child? Can you think back about anything strange happening, voices or anything?

im 20.. nothing really weird has happened to me as a child except i tried weed at a youg age and i didnt like the effect at first, also when i was really young i was afraid of some things happening to me

Hi everyone. I’m not good in English, but I’m willing to share my life experience. I was diagnosed of paranoid schizophrenia last year in May 2010. I’m a nursing graduate, 25 y/o, working as a caregiver, and studying for the board exam. I’m an alcoholic, I usually drink just by myself--its like every night to make me fall asleep. It’s my only bad habit. I’m an active person. I play tennis, jog, good in chess and also good in math. I took psychotic meds and stopped it in the 2nd week and I had a relapsed and made me go back to meds again until the month of September. That time, I did not stop searching for alternative treatment. I’ve tried niacin, and I don’t stop believing that it can really cure me. That time I’m so very tired to myself, feeling so very sorry to myself because the doctor told me that it’s a lifetime treatment (doc said that schizophrenia can never cure it can be controlled, my niacin will cause a liver problem if it is too much, it can only be control with meds and I have to be use of the effect/side effects of med). The only problem of meds is it control or change the <normal me>, it made me feel useless. I know some of you this is what you are under going right now. I kept on praying to Mama Mary and to St. Raphael the Archangel, here is the prayer that helped me fight the hopeless feeling: (Glorious Archangel St. Raphael, great prince of the heavenly court, you are illustrious for your gifts of wisdom and grace. You are a guide of those who journey by land or sea or air, consoler of the afflicted, and refuge of sinners. I beg you, assist me in all my needs and in the suffering of this life, as once you helped the young Tobias on his travels. Because you are the “medicine of God.” I humbly pray you to heal the many infirmities of my soul and the ills that afflict my body. I especially ask of you the favor (name it) and the great grace of purity to prepare me to be the temple of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

I always went on fishing those months to challenge or forget the feeling of being not normal. Every Sunday I went to the church, because I believe that if we knew how to repent our sins, God will help us and guide us to the right path. I believe that if we seek help from God, He would help us to find a right person, a right medicine/vitamins that will cure us. My girlfriend, she gave me a really good support! I smoke cigarettes just to make me relax and I always watch a funny movie, most specially the Americans Funniest Video, and believe that someday I’m normal again (laughter is the best medicine they said). I stopped drinking alcohol, and made a promise to myself that I need to stay away from alcohol/beer for just now.. I’m like a Rambo that time, just a fighter, but not anymore a drinker. My mind is always shouting, I’m normal! I’m normal! Even the feeling is not. I don’t use any illegal drugs, but I tried marijuana 4 yrs ago, just an experience, just 1 try. And I said to myself that is not a good habit for recreation or for fun because I could find those fun/happiness w/out using that drug. There is a thing here in the world that is bad if it too much, it is the work of evil (addiction).

In the end of the month of September, my dad planned to go to the Philippines, and I decided to go with him. I said to him: I want to see my Grandma and Grandpa and go to the church. That time I’m so willing to find an alternative healing and to get a support to may Grandma and Grandpa and pray to the old church for healing or miracles that I‘m always hoping that time. Because I believe that time it’s a lifetime illness, all I think that time is I just need to be brave and fight the feeling of hopelessness (mixed thought and emotions). In the Philippines we believe in faith healing. And I went to the faith healer. The faith healer said that its all stress that form from my head for not eating at the right time and made drinking alcohol as a habit. Its like a plant that is sufficient in sunlight and no nutrient/ water. Too much alcohol it weakened your nervous system she said, veins/arteries in my head, and alcohol will flush out all my nutrient in my body. She told me that I have to stop taking my medicine! Which will ruin my body and mind for long time of using of it. I was shocked because I don’t want to relapse again, and I told her that. And she said: That’s why I’m curing you. Don’t think that it will come back again. (it’s a 5 days of curing: first day, she massage me from the head to toe with praying.. I remember that she always say “Jesus please help. “2nd day, massage my head with prayer again, 3rd day she massage my head again with prayer because I had a bulging vein in my forehead. The 4th day she covered me a blanket (from head to toe) in sitting position. She prepared a mix herbal leaves and then steam it to me, I inhaled the smoke. She said that I will be sweating to remove the toxins in my body. And the juice of the mix herbs, she let me drink it. She said that if I experience vomiting, its means that there is too much air in my body that it is not good. And the result is I vomited overnight. She told me that I need to stay away from using cigarettes and drinking alcohol for 1 year. After a few days, I still can’t stay away from smoking, so I smoke. And after 2 week, I returned in the U.S. and told my doctor and counselor my story and told them that I stopped taking meds for 2 weeks already. And I’m not experiencing anymore of hallucination/ paranoia. Doctor told me that they do not believe in faith healer. And she’s happy that I’m not schizophrenic anymore but she wanted to contact them incase that the symptoms come back.

Almost 9 months now. I drink sometimes, less than 4 times a month. I just drink not more than 3 cans of beer. I did not experience anymore symptoms.

MY MOTIVATION BEFORE I’M ON MEDS AND SCHIZOPHRENIC: when I‘m in doubt, sad, hopeless etc. * I pray to seek help from God * went to church every Sunday *seek support if I’m feeling lonely * went to the beach, walk/fishing *jog until I get tired *play relaxing/happy music *clean the house * took niacin with vitamin C. * stay away from staying in couch all the time without doing anything just watching television (I found it not really helpful) *funny videos is more helpful. Just be brave and trust in God!

NOW I’M OKAY: I realized that if praying to God is not my first priority to achieve my healing, I’m not here today telling this story. I found out that Vitamin B-complex timed release is more helpful to stay healthy in mind. I think that this is the best way to achieve normal mind, not too much niacin, just a complete vitamins. Much more better with minerals multi-vitamins before bedtime. *Stay away from alcohol/ not too much just enjoy the company. *Exercise and stay away from fat foods. I think the best way to enjoy the food is if we have company. *Drink plenty of water and eat foods that are high in antioxidant and vitamin C.

I wish you the best. Your in my prayer. Seek help to God, repent/ ask for forgiveness of sins. God is the source of all the healing things, the vitamins/medicine, the food we eat etc. Always remember He is the creator off all.

And on the original question, am I going to hell?

You are pretty much already there, a very low plane of existance down here isn't it? And it's horribly painful most of the time isn't it?

VITAMIN B-COMPLEX 100 -is the supplement that will help to cure your hallucination (hearing voices, seeing things that is not real), paranoia (not in your self, doing weird things).

Your not going to hell, just take VITAMIN B-COMPLEX 100mg everyday & don't drink alcohol and caffeinated beverages, and pray.

Ok, so you are not going to hell or in hell.

You are on earth with the rest of us. Somethings you have gone through I can relate to.

Now I know this may be difficult to understand but the voices you a hearing are not based on reality. Life as you know it may feel like an unbelievable adventure since you have been listening to these voice.

This adventure is strictly inside your mind.

When you listen to the voices the effect you will see is that your reality will continually be propped up with voices or hearing thoughts or otherworldly experiences, this is a rationalization mechanism.

The truth is you are a person experience the symptoms of schizophrenia.

You may need to be hospitalized, and that is not such a bad thing although you may feel it is.

Besides getting treated for you symptons, something you may try (which may help ground your thoughts) is to not focus on ideas voices or abstractions, instead focus on what you are physically doing and define yourself by what you have done physically.

So physically you cant reach nirvana, but you can walk a mile, do dishes, clean up your place for 15 minutes, or take a shower.

Defining yourself by what you do instead of what you are thinking may help you to understand what others are seeing when they see how you are acting. Because if you think you are communicating with them through your mind, just ask the outright and find out for yourself that that is not true.

I wish you the best, and remember to focus on what you do in a day, not what you are thinking about.

Ok, so you are not going to hell or in hell.

You are on earth with the rest of us. Somethings you have gone through I can relate to.

Now I know this may be difficult to understand but the voices you a hearing are not based on reality. Life as you know it may feel like an unbelievable adventure since you have been listening to these voice.

This adventure is strictly inside your mind.

When you listen to the voices the effect you will see is that your reality will continually be propped up with voices or hearing thoughts or otherworldly experiences, this is a rationalization mechanism.

The truth is you are a person experience the symptoms of schizophrenia.

You may need to be hospitalized, and that is not such a bad thing although you may feel it is.

Besides getting treated for you symptons, something you may try (which may help ground your thoughts) is to not focus on ideas voices or abstractions, instead focus on what you are physically doing and define yourself by what you have done physically.

So physically you cant reach nirvana, but you can walk a mile, do dishes, clean up your place for 15 minutes, or take a shower.

Defining yourself by what you do instead of what you are thinking may help you to understand what others are seeing when they see how you are acting. Because if you think you are communicating with them through your mind, just ask the outright and find out for yourself that that is not true.

I wish you the best, and remember to focus on what you do in a day, not what you are thinking about.