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Am I just being naive about love?

Ok so my first relationship recently ended pretty painfully with her cheating on me and her telling me she hasn't actually loved me for the last 2 years of our relationship. I keep thinking about moving on and I have to wonder if I'm just looking for the wrong thing. I realize love isn't like some fairytale; you don't just fall for someone and everything is just always so perfect and there's never any problems, but still I want someone I can just really devote myself to. I want someone I can trust, someone I would do anything for; really when I think about it, what I want is to be able to tell a person anything, to give them every weapon they need to hurt me, have them give me the same, and neither of us ever using them, I want that level of trust. Part of me realizes that's an insanely stupid idea and wants to kick my own ass for thinking it, especially considering how badly my last girl hurt me, but another part of me doesn't care. For whatever reason, in my mind there's nothing better than being in love, I'm not happy unless I'm making someone else happy. I don't know if I'm just idolizing something I can't have though, I know that love can't solve all but I still feel like I can't have a good life without it. People keep telling me I shouldn't trust a person like that, that I should be a lot more cautious and restrictive with my feelings, but I don't know if that's being realistic or just cynical, honestly I have almost no experience with the real thing.
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replied July 12th, 2009
Supporter
What you want is real love and it is out there. If you always go around hiding your feelings how are you supposed to find this love? My advice to you would be to date different people, set your standards high, and the right woman will come along. She's out there and she will be very lucky when she finds you!
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replied July 12th, 2009
Experienced User
i was with a man who cheated on me for the 10 years we were together . i was stupid in thinking all men are like this i wont ever find better. but i did and now 10 years with him and we are still the best of friends and hes a great husband he sort of just landed in my life by accident at a bar at my brothers bachelor party,he worked with him and we were instantly attracted to each other but i was married at the time . a year later i was divorced and went hunting him. found out he waited for me thr whole time ask about me every day at work to my bro . well thr rest is history. dont stay where your miserable believe me been there . leave your wasting time finding the one. shes waiing on you. good luck. trust me we all want a man like you. your girl must have a screww loose lol not to love you. good luck.
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replied July 13th, 2009
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being in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. if you on cloud 9, you can deal with a horrible day at work and smile.etc.
allow your heart to heal, i m sure what your ex said probable messed up your mind.
but there is someone out there for you that will be your best friend, that will be in love with you. i honestly believe that.
i've been hurt pretty badly also, you can have that fairytale relationship.
i was also hurt very badly and i didnt think i could find love after my ex of 5 years, the week that i left him i met someone else and it's been two years and im still with him.
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replied July 14th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
This is a totally realistic standard to set for yourself and you can and should expect every relationship can have this.

Trust is not given, it is earned. It is something you need to build in a relationship by being true to your word and responsible with the vulnerabilities of your partner. It can be very easy to push your partner's buttons or manipulate them, even for the best of intentions. If you demonstrate trustworthiness and demand trust from your partner you will have what you want.
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