Hi I'd really appreciate someone's help. Looking over some of the posts on the ADHD part of the forum, and researching over the internet, I really feel I have the symptoms of ADD(ADHD-PI).
If an expert or someone with knowledge in the field / Someone who has ADD themselves or knows anyone with it / or just someone who has general knowledge in mental health could answer that would be so great. I really want all insights.
If my descriptions seem to highlight a different sort of disorder or condition please give me the heads up, i'd like all takes, I definitely know I have a problem and think it's about time I address it properly.
Bit Of Background On Me.
Since I was conciously aware of what thinking was, I would always daydream, I don't remember a time when I didn't. And this isn't the normal, everyone having their little time to time daydream - My daydream literally last hours. I am a University Student (Nearly 20) and i'm embarassed to say that if I get a day in, I could spend 7 hours straight just daydreaming, the day seems to go by so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I'm active, and I'm constantly going out to rehearse for shows, when I'm not at University or at work (I work with an agency because routine gets too much for me), and when i'm in if i'm not zoning out i'm writing, but it really worries me. When other members of my family or friends come round, i'm like a little kid - I'd just about remember to say hi to them, before rolling into unstoppable bouts of stories of my week. It's only after i've finished talking, that I realise they haven't had a chance to, but it's like I feel a need to get out everything I know, or everything interesting or it will kill me. I can't help it. My mind seems to race way of head of me, and sometimes I feel to alert and way too intuitive, which makes me almost possibly paranoid at times.
I was really bright when I was younger, always waiting on everyone else to finish, and wondering why some people didn't get what seemed simple questions, and why people felt the need to ask me how to spell things. The only complaints I had from teachers as a kid, was to concentrate more, stop skipping words when writing and to be less fidgety. As i grew older and teachers would push me not to start conversations with others when i had nothing to do and to focus more, stop zoning out etc, I would then focus so much on the lesson it would lead me to always trying to make witty comments or ask stupid questions as the only form of staying engaged.
Nowadays, as everything has required more organisation I feel my life has turned upside down. I'm on my first year of Uni again (restarting it) as I failed due to missing deadlines and i've cried myself to sleep because i've really been trying hard. I've matured as a person (as in i don't interrupt lessons or feel the need to talk) but my daydreaming, procastinating from the excruciatingly tedious requirements in my degree and disorganisations really threw me off more than it ever has in the past. And it seems now my head requires more work in parts of education i'm not particurlarly interested in, things have gotten worse.
Even little things like having to return a couple of friends missed calls stresses my brain out times, and sometimes I need to add small things like that to my diary out of fear of the usual forgetfulness and I feel as if minor things like that are such a brainstrainer/mission at times...and of course I forget to check my diary sometimes...
The only things I seem to have any strength are creative things. I can focus on writing for a whole day If i'm in, I could start writing in the morning and just notice the window sky change to night, doesnt stop the daydreaming but works with it together to create something productive (because i'll just dream about the art at hand). In terms of acting, I can focus on the character all day hence me loving it so much, as long as i have a feel for the role, when i don't i find I have to a lot more work to try and connect.
Sorry this was so long, but it's really getting me down and i know it's not normal, i also know i've most likely missed a lot of vital things out too, and will beat myself up about it (mentally) when i remember.
Again i'd appreciate any insights...
I don't know if there's a word for any escapism tendencies in itself? Or maybe an OCD with daydreaming? but the ADD symptoms really do seem to head home to me...
I'm so sorry I'm not an expert, but I will say that I don't think it's a daydreaming OCD, at the same time it doesn't sound like ADD, because they have trouble concentrating on everything, but you are able to concentrate on daydreaming excessivly. I certainly cant do that! I actually find it hard to daydream, which annoyes me. I'd like to be able to swith off once in a whiloe...!
tons_of_OCDs you are completely off when you say ADD people can't concentrate on Anything!!! I am no expert but I have been researching it a lot and am actually going to a doctor soon to get my ADD diagnosed. ADD people can't focus on things that are monotonous or bore them. If a topic is highly interesting then they can focus on it all day. I do a lot of what you said in your post. The thing you said about writing all day and not noticing until it was dark sounds like you hyperfocused. That can actually be a positive side effect of ADD if it is put to the right task, instead of just being a distraction. I am also a freshman in college and that is why I decided to try medication because I am naturally smart and never made bad grades in school. I never had to really study that much before I got to college, but my grades definitely suffered because I was not able to focus and study when I needed to and I often procrastinated work. My suggestion would be to take an online screening (psychcentral.com-try typing that into google, not sure if it is exact link) and see what it says. Based on your results, go talk to a psychiatrist. Most colleges offer free student mental health help. I had to go there first and then they referred me to a psychiatrist for official screening. Good luck I hope everything turns out well! Also, make sure you take an Adult ADD screening because it is different than children. This can be undiagnosed if you weren't hyperactive as a child, and it sounds like you are like me and weren't!