am i going insane

What you need to do is take a step back and really look at your life. Address your depression. Look at your life and other's around you. You have people that love you and a warm place to sleep. When I was younger I went through depression what got me through it was realising just how much I really did have. As for the paranoia ... you need to not think too far into things. I use to have panick and think I couldn't breath after having a bad experience on recreational drugs when I was a teenager ... you just need to take deep breaths and think about other things. Your mind is running too fast ... Which causes the state of confusion and anxiety. Relax more .. maybe go hang out with some friends for the night.

I would also recommend talking to someone. Is there a relative you can confide in? It wouldn't be a bad idea to seek counseling from a therapist. It's also helpful to exercise...take a walk...do some stretches like yoga...dance around when nobody is looking...think back on the things you enjoyed doing before you started to feel depressed and try to pick up on the activity where you left off. I hope you feel better soon.

i do not think any of you trully understand i know how good i have it i know and that makes me ten times more depressed i cant stop exersise does not work and thinking how good i have it doesnt work either nothing does you just cant comprehend my mind its hard to explain but i know i am spoiled brat or so you all think i knew i shouldnt have come here every time i try to get help i get judged and thats why i will never seek help again thank you for your priceless advice yeah your advice

U have my sympathy. Not a nice feeling. U need to be kinder to yourself and understand u are doing the best you can in your situation. This is not your fault.
Lack of confidence is all part of this depression. Try to spoil yourself in someway. Take a day off and visit some hot pools or baths, followed by some pampering. Forgive yourself, you are not a brat. Counting your blessings just makes it worse. U have a chemical inbalance that needs attention asap.

You said you are a spoiled brat. I think this is the way you punish yourself for that character trait. You obviously don't want any help or suggestions, it is apparent from your posts. Sounds like someone must have made life too easy for you, and now you can't cope. Well sorry, but the only way to solve your problems is either talk yourself out of them, or get professional help and medication. If you have a chemical imbalance that is causing the anxiety, medication can help you with that. If you are just a person who can't cope with life, then it's a self-pity thing. All I can tell you is life is short...shorter than you think, and you are wasting yours by dwelling on things you cannot change. You need to change what you can, but you have to WANT to. If not, then you will just wallow, be more miserable, and make those around you feel the same. For your own sake you need to throw the negativity out the window. Good luck.

Raven53 is correct, life is short and if you don't seek help, you will just prolong your agony. Who cares if they judge you. Besides, maybe they are not, its the anxiety..