Maybe you are bisexual...it isn't the end of the world...its a good thing as long as you can be real with yourself and with others...talk to your girlfriend about your feelings if you really love her..and if she really loves you she wont judge you or be a creep about it. If shee cant deal with it or understand then be glad you had ther conversation and find someone who is more open minded. U R still very young...go slow and dont worry what other people think..who gives a damn what someone else thinks?If you live your life worried about what people may think of you instead of being real and authentic with yourself..well...you wont be happy.

its strange...
its like
if im bi
wouldnt i have known it earlier?
ive never been attracted to guys
i still dont see them in a sexual matter
but i feel like im going crazy
i was sooo happy when i knew i was straight
if im gay or bi i duno what im going to do
i know its nothing wrong or un normal
it just doesnt feel right to me
it makes me really really depressed
it isnt who i am
how can i just change from a panic attack
and this only happens when i go off my meds
so is it real?
is it a delusion from my mental conditions
im just so scared

I don't think being gay is something you need to worry about right now. You have bigger things going on.

It sounds like you are having some serious problems after taking Ecstasy (XTC) for so long. I really hope that when you say "my meds" that you don't mean Ecstasy. That stuff really messes with your head and can cause permanent damage. You need to see a doctor and tell him that you have been abusing Ecstasy, if you haven't already.

You have to recognize that your mental state is fragile right now. I can tell just from reading your words. You need help. This anxiety, panic, depression, and feeling like you are "going crazy" is most likely a result of your condition, not a reaction to your fear of being gay.

Stopping the drugs may not be enough. You may need to talk to a psychiatrist to get through this. At least go to your primary care doctor and talk to him about what is going on.

Things can get better with the right help. You don't have to go through this by yourself.

Please see a doctor and describe what you are going through and mention that you abused ecstacy. People can get delusions about things they never had a problem with before. Sometimes that is what drug use can do. Hopefully, this gets better once you work on dealing with your problem.

MyrahU and NeutralUsername are right...X can cause mental problems if used too often or too much at one time. Talk to your doctor about this.

thanks guys
ive been to a psychiatrist
and by my meds i mean
lexapro, serouquel, and xanax
i stopped using E ...7 months ago
because after that panic attack
the fear that i had turned gay put me in the mental hospital
my doctors said i had damaged my serotonin receptors after doin E every weekend for a year
when im on my meds i dont have the fear and my confidence in my sexuality returns
im just in a situation where my parents dont really care for me
so they wont pay for my doctor or my meds anymore, and workin at a cannabis club doesnt pay enough
but i really wana thank you guys for helping me during one of the worst times in my life

Homerx: you imply that "X" can be safe if used correctly. Not to sound like a news magazine report, but Ecstasy can be really really dangerous. It works by releasing the brain's serotonin, all at once. Yes, this does create euphoria, happy fuzzy feelings, etc. It also causes a host of dangerous side-effects: increased heart rate and blood pressure (which can lead to death), increased body temperature (which can lead to death), blurred vision, insomnia, etc. People often drink a lot of water to combat the rise in body temperature, but too much water can bring your blood sugar and electrolytes to dangerously low levels (leading to death). People have died from *one dose* of this stuff. It's not something to play around with.

There are long-term effects, as well. You have a finite amount of brain cells that produce Serotonin. This is the chemical in your brain that regulates mood and keeps you happy. This is why anti-depressants are Selective *Serotonin* Re-uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). You deplete your stores of Serotonin and it takes a while to make more. In the mean time, you feel listless, depressed, sometimes to the point of suicide.

In addition, Serotonin is toxic to brain cells in large amounts--called serotonergic neurotoxicity. You can damage the very brain cells that produce Serotonin by releasing too much at once. They stop responding to Serotonin the way they did before. Unfortunately, a lot of these effects haven't been fully studied. We don't know what the full long-term effects may be, 10 or 20 years down the road.

I know this drug may seem like a lot of fun, but it's not safe to use, even if you get the real thing. Another problem is that you don't know what people are putting in these pills. It's it pure Ecstasy or is it mixed with something else? What dose is it? Is it the same as you had before or is it stronger?

Again, this is not something to play around with.

Okay, now that I've said my piece, I'll climb down off my soap box.

Be safe.

no problem,every one is entitled to there own opinion..its all good.