let me explain... Im 26 5.8 and currently
weigh 80 kilos/176 lbs.
I started a healthy eating programme eating
anywhere between 1200/1500 calories a
over the last couple of weeks I have since
found myself limiting my intake to 900
sometimes as low as 400/500.
I no my stomach has shrunk and that is why
I don't feel as hungry.
I'm not currently under weight..I'm actually
ever so slightly overweight.but nothing
my problem is I have found my self
obsessivly researching so called
"thinspiration" sites and looking at pictures.
I have also purged three times each time i have done it i
have said to myself i wont do it again, then i eat something
im not entirly happy with and i purged. Iv only done it 3 times
I'm aware that some people can develop
eating disorders through severe dieting but i
tell myself ill stop if it gets out of hand.
im not seeking attention...I'm a grown women with
should I be worried at this stage? I have lost
4lbs in 5 days.
I am sorry to say that yes, in my opinion, you should be concerned. It is true that sometimes obsessive dieting can lead to an eating disorder, and also in a way is classified as an eating disorder. Not so much the actions being taken, but the obsessive compulsive trait that leads to having complete control over your body. I am assuming you are dieting, because you want to lose weight..of course. So, are you unhappy with the way you look?
Just the fact that you had a strict diet and then slowly began to control yourself more and more ..until you are looking up info on how to lose weight..and now purging. It truly does all unfold in the same way it seems. Most everyone starts out wanting to make a few corrections with their body and then it becomes a matter of never reaching your goal, because it keeps on changing. When I began to purge I would only do it like once a day, if I could get away with it, because at the time I lived with my parents still. However, it became something I would do whenever I had the chance and then I began staying home just to eat and get sick when no one else was around.
It is so hard to see that the problem is starting to grow on you when you are stuck in your own shoes. I know you think you have control, but that is what is so scary about it...you do have the control, but you are most likely going to tighten the reins more and more until you are consumed by the disorder.
I would really stop trying to look at the websites and also try to stop purging, it really becomes so addicting....because you want to be skinny and you realize, you can eat! All you have to do is throw up afterwards if you feel crappy about it... it becomes an escape .. I am not going to tell you that eating as little as you do is bad, because honestly considering the circumstances, it is by far the best route. I would maybe talk to someone you trust about it, or go see a counselor, and just explain that you don't have a full on problem at this point, but you can see that you may be on the road to one...and would like expert advice on what to do since you were doing so well and somehow got off track ya know..?
If anything, you just want to talk about your situation, or how your day was, or if you are curious about bulimia, you can feel free to ask me questions. I will always be honest and I have been there done that, so I know how you feel and it is def. confusing and takes a lot out of ya. Hope to hear from you!