Hello,

I have a beautiful 13 month old daughter but the last year has been horrible. Her father became addicted to drugs after winning the lottery a week before her birth. He became a monster and went through 35,000 dollars for drug use in four months. He became abusive and five months after her birth, he threatened to kill me. 911 was called and I had to get a restraining order. He cannot see the baby or I for a year.

I struggled being a single mom. I feel overwhelmed almost every day. I also feel numb and dettached. I have a very loving man in my life now. He is very helpful and supportive but I have virtually no sex drive. Yesterday, he took care of the baby and told me to go get a pedicure, something that would normally make me happy but it didn't even make me even smile. He'll offer to take me to dinner or pick up take out and I could care less. I'd rather eat a grilled cheese and go to bed.

I applied to go back to college in the fall so I can get a better job and provide a better life for my daughter. Just the thought of trying to balance working, going to school and caring for my daughter terrifies me. I feel so overwhelmed. On my days off from work, I want to just sit around the house. I force myself to go to the store or park, small tasks seem difficult. I am a waitress and it is getting harder and harder to put on a happy face when I feel this way inside.

If I am depressed, how do I get medication? Can I go to my normal doctor or do I have to see a therapist? I do not have medical insurance so I don't know if I can afford to see a therapist. I am worried that going on medication will make things worse, that it will make me more numb. That it will make me seem weak. Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you.