One day may boyfriend and I were in playing around and he was behind me. First my boyfriend used his fingers to caress my vagina and then he put his penis on my vagina. It did not go in because I would have known by the pain or bleeding. He told me that he didn't use his fingers to caress me the whole time and at some point he used his penis. My question is if my boyfriend only insert the very tip of the penis into my vagina.....am i a virgin or not? He said that he insert the tip and not the whole head of the penis but i didn't feel anything..
Welcome to the ehealthforum and I am really glad to help you out. Your concern is regarding whether you are a virgin or not when there was slight penetration of penis into your vagina. Losing of virginity is a subjective term only as earlier it was thought that rupture of the hymen during intercourse which is a thin membrane in the vagina is the sign of losing virginity. However, nowadays with so many sporting activities in which women are involved hymen breaks down even before the intercourse. This hymen can be torn during vigorous exercises or horse riding also and sometimes it is so rigid that it does not tear while intercourse. So you can call yourself a virgin if during the penetration there was no hymen rupture.
If you and your boyfriend are without pants fooling around the argument of wheather or not you're a virgin hardly seems to matter. Be more concerned about wheather you're prepared to be responsible for your actions in these scenarios and if you're protecting yourself from pregnancy and disease.
It's interesting that Dr. Singh brings up horseback riding... I've been playing just the tip with my boyfriend and his horse is anything but small... I have yet to have sex with him, but i do feel that in being so intimate, we have lost our virginity. Seeing him naked was enough for me.
BabyGurl, If your virginity holds any value to you, this is definitely not the way to protect it and you should stop these games NOW!
Technically you are a virgin when you have not had intercourse yet. Intercourse is described as having his penis inside your vagina.
You may or may not have a hymen that is in the vaginal opening. If you do have a hymen, it may be painful and bleed the first time anything big enough to tear it goes into your vagina. You may also not have any blood or pain the first time.
You are definitely not sexually pure any more. In many cultures sexual purity, the hymen and virginity is considered the same concept, but it is not really. You can be fingered, had anal sex or oral sex and still be a virgin but not sexually pure. You can have no hymen and be as sexually pure as can be.
Ask your boyfriend to please not do that again. You have the full right to approve or disapprove what he does and he kind-of sneaked that one in behind your back. He might think it is ok because you did not stop him but clearly, you did not even know what he was up to.
At the very least he should wear a condom if he gets his penis that close to your vagina.
"Ask a Doctor" questions are answered by certified physicians and other medical professionals.
For more information about experts participating in the "Ask a Doctor" Network, please visit our
medical experts page.
You may also visit our Sexual Health - Women , for moderated patient to patient support and information.
The information provided on eHealth Forum is designed to improve, not replace, the relationship between a patient and his/her own physician.
Personal consultation(s) with a qualified medical professional is the proper means for diagnosing any medical condition.