I worry...way too much, it seems. I worry about things that no one would really even think of worrying over, like knocking on someones door or ringing the door bell when you're invited to their house, or calling someone on the phone just to talk. I get told I'm shy all the time, but I think it's gotten worse. I can't do things in front of friends like sing, or do something that'd make me look stupid. I'm afraid of embarassing myself. I'm afraid of being judged for everything. I can't do work in class when the teacher or someone else is watching me, I put it off until they walk/look away. My heart starts pounding, I start sweating and I feel light-headed whenever the teacher does something as simple as attendence. Since the first day of school is coming up (I actually graduated this year, but I'm gong back for another semester for extra credits) I worry about where my bus is going to be, if I'm going to be able to find it, if I'm going to miss it and have to wait for my parents to come get me. I hate doing this, but I can't stop it. I avoid going to friends houses if I know that I have to knock on the door, I'll only go over after school so I can avoid it. I really want to go to therapy but I'm afraid to tell my parents because my mom'll tell me I'm overreacting, plus it's expensive. I don't know what to do anymore..I just need someone who understands and who's been there before..
You have a classic case of anxiety and panic disorder. It will only get worse unless you get help. Try talking to a counselor at your school if you don't want to go to your parents. If it continues to get worse you might want to make an appt. with a psychiatrist for some anxiety medication so you can live a normal life without worrying about every little thing. I have horrible anxiety...I had to travel by myself this week and I worried and stressed over every little thing so much that I wore myself out. I take Vistaril and Xanax and it does help. If I didn't take it I would be much worse.
I really feel for you. I do the same exact thing and I told my Dad all about it. He said that the things I worry about, like where to go for dinner or yes ringing a door bell or calling to someone in a loud voice, just didn't even occur to him. I almost never ever yell and I talk really quietly like making a noise is bad or something. Whenever there is somebody around me, I become a completely different person who can not express myself or seem to do anything genuinly. All my actions are planned around my friends and its really starting to get to me. Ive felt like this for about 4 years, and I have been working really hard to improve my situation. The only advice I have that has worked for me, is that when you have the chance to do something you really want to do like when you want to sing(maybe start with something less difficult) and you get that scared feeling. Thats the time when when it helps to act on it and then tell yourself that yes what I did was fine. I recently went on a camping trip with my Dad who I love alot. I get really anxious when it comes to expressing feelings even for him. When we got back and I went home I felt as though something were missing, so I thought about it for a bit and I made myself sit on my bed and call my Dad and tell him that I really appreciated the trip and that I had a good time. After that I felt better cause thats how I really felt and now he knew:)
Also think about this. If you dont ever do anything because of a fear that it will somehow bother other people or you will get emberassed, then you are not treating yourself right either. I agree that sometimes its best not to do things so that you dont annoy anyone and sometimes its good to not do something that you know is stupid. But when you start to think everything is stupid, then you might as well do something stupid then nothing at all. You owe it to yourself to be yourself.
Thanks for you answers :)Since I'm not back in school yet and can't really talk to a counselor, I told a friend. I've gone to her with problems before, and it really made me feel better now that she knows. Maybe I'll work up to telling my mom how I feel, thanks for the suggestions
I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and they put me on Lexapro. I don't think it has been helping. Everything makes me nervous, whether people are watching me, or talking aqbout me. Or what I do at work, if it's the right thing. It's hard to deal with in every day life!!
Lexapro really doesn't help much with anxiety. I have to take two other anxiety medications. The Lexapro is better for depression than anything else. You might want to speak to your doctor about Vistaril or Xanax.
You are all girls, but I am a 46 year old man, still I am having a problem somewhat like yours. I can't sit in a bus or train facing other people. What they will think about me? If my eyes met with theirs, what I have to do? Once met, my habit is to go back again and again to know whether they will meet again. In nights, I can't wait in a bus stand for long, what others will think about me! They may think I am afraid. Even though I know and experienced and heard from others that nobody looks another person for more than some seconds at a stretch, then they divert their attention to other things. But if I expressed some feelings like fear, hate, lust etc. through my face, their watching will come back in another moment towards me, I feel. So now I am having my brand of Whisky or Rum everyday before I have to face these circumstances.
Oh i know how you are feeling and I also know just how lonely it can feel too. My teenage years were also very , lets say edgy and panicky.
I also understand about how difficult it is for you to tell your mum, my mother was difficult to talk to and would often dismiss things i said as being silly.
You're going through a lot of change both physically and emotionally during this time of your life and I am here to tell you that you are not alone and that you would be surprised just how many people of your own age probably feel similar.
My advice is this, find someone you can trust and talk to. A best friend, a favorite teacher, another close family member. let them know how you are feeling. Just letting it all out can be a great stress buster. having support and someone you can turn too is of enormous benefit. After all therapy is not that dissimilar, they won't have any magic words for you but they will listen and so can friends etc.
i know it will be hard at first, but just tell one person, you'll be surprised just how supportive people can be.
Also try to find things that you can immerse yourself in, something you love and enjoy. Do it regularly and if it involves a group of other people the better. perhaps you like sport, join a team or fitness club. I know this may all sound rather obvious but believe me I have been there and i know what works.
Good luck and don't worry there is light at the end of the tunnel.