I don't say this alot but, you have brought tears to my eyes. I see so much of me in you.
I have read your post twice lone. Each time trying to piece together the real you. What I have come up with is a man with a gental, loving, compassionate heat. That has a life and a future before you just waiting to be found. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our depression, we can't see the good thngs around us. lone, you have to realize that YOU are the only one that can make this work. And it can work.
I will not bore you with my story, it mimic's your to much.
What I wish for you, is that you get up and brush yourself off and grab some of that self esteam that you have lost and start living a life. Life is only what we make of it lone. You choose to be unhappy, you will be unhappy. You choose to be alone, you will be alone. You have lost ALL your self esteam and self worth. It is still there and always has been. You just have lost touch with it for so many, many years. It does not have to follow you like a vulture waiting for your carcus. There is a life out there and you need to go get it. It is not going to come knocking on your door. You are not the only one in the world with this problem lone. You can not give up on yourself that easy.
If you think you could use some theropy and have insurance or enough to pay for it. Then by all means get some help.
Now I want you to promise me you will start looking for that man that is inside you that we know is not the same man that wrote those words in the post above.

The dozen red roses are for you lone. For you new begining and new life.

Hugs,
Carrie

Hi, I grew up similar to you, moving from home to home. Always the new kid and always the outcast - people ridiculed me once they got to know me.

Today I am very anti-social I live in my own world and stress out when people even come up and talk to me cause I want to show them that I am a good person and I want them to like me, but I talk too much. I bring people down with my life story. I want people to understand why I am the way I am, but it always pushes people away instead. I am trying to learn that people don't need to know my sad story, but it is hard.

I am serious all of the time, people tell jokes and it goes right over my head. I just don't get what other people are talking about, I feel like an outcast all of the time.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and if you ever need a person to just talk to, I am here.

I would not give up on finding a woman, there are plenty of women out there that are not turned off by weight, you should not be down on your self about your weight there are plenty of good people that don't care about that. I am over weight and I found a man that does not mind it. I know there has to be someone special out there that will see you for who you are.

Take care of yourself, best of wishes to you.

hey guys , to be honest with you just be yourself and if people don't like you the way you are than to heck with them right? there are lots of nice people out there and lots of bad too. I'm sure someone will come your way... I mean look at this people are all responding to you guys because we care...at least I do.
I don't want you guys to do anyhting stupid, even though I don't know you ... I wouldn't want anyone to hurt themselves. You know what I would do... I would go for bike rides, go to a gym , keep yourself busy so you can take your mind off of these things. Well I hope I helped ya out a bit, take care guys and don't do anything stupid because I wouldn't be happy. Love ya's

oops that first line there that I posted I meant lol If people don't like you for who you are than forget them. There will be someone that'll come your way and will want to get to know you.. u just need to stay positive, keep yourself busy and if u don't expect anything, someone special I bet will come to ya.

Thank you all for the support. I'm so surprised to see such a draw. Well, I will try to take heed to each of you guy's advise, although...it is hard to stay positive when you don't see any positivity around, you know. I've pretty much given up on meeting anyone who'll have interest in me, so it's gonna take time to take all of this in. I've almost trained myself to not desire a woman anymore bacause of the fact that I've never really had one be interested in me anyway. So, I figured that if I told myself day after day that I don't need or want one...I'll believe it someday. The same goes with just friends in general. You see, I live in a city where if you didn't grow up here, no one is gonna talk to you anyway. So, being the fact that I'm stuck here, I figure I might as well just adjust and go on. I do thank you all for your support, though. It means a lot to me, whether you know it or not. Thank you.

i felt the same as carol did when i read ur post...tears came and i felt wat u meant. i agree with carol in that i believe that u r a great person who just needs to get back on the train, even if u think u were never on it. facebook is overrated. i think im depressed too and i dont really have friends despite the fact that i have been living in the same place forever.
i see a lot of myself in you and its frightening because it makes me question the little hope i do have for my own future...i dont seem to have self esteem or any fair or anything, people have told me so and its hard and the world seems pretty dismal. but at least we have this site and people who care, regardless of them being strangers. try ur best to get up every morning for u because if u dont do it no one will do it for you. u matter the most, so u should embrace that. wow i sound like a complete hypocrite but i hope it helps...you deserve to live so just get the help...i talk to someone, kinda one of the very few people i can call my "friend" who i spill my guts to about depression and she recommends therapy because we dont deserve to hurt...she says that we deserve better and shes probably right...so try to find it in yourself to get some help from a professional...
hope this helps!
message me anytime you wanna talk i would love to help

Maybe you should become a priest?

man i feel the same way,i sleep alot,i dont care for anybody because i know there just going to let me down.i guess we are in the same boat,but sometimes i feel good being alone,less trouble.i cant watch tv without thinking about my first love still trying to fight for her,so i dont watch alot of couple movies and i cant watch anything with people in newyork city,because i picture me and my first love just walking holdin hands together there.so yea if me and my first love dont work out i just want to live on a nice chunck of land with my dog and r.i.p on my ranch.i cant do anything without thinking about her,cant listen to love songs anymore,i guess you can say im use to pain in my life.

Lone,

I would like to suggest to you to watch on television the motivational speaker Joel Osteen. He has also written books that are very good. You can buy them at Walmart. I also want to say that a woman is not going to come in to the picture until you start loving yourself. I am sure you have alot to offer the world!! Start focusing on you and the rest will fall into place. Maybe you could do some volunteering in your community. This would give you an opportunity to meet people. Helping others is also very beneficial in making you feel good. Dont give up on yourself. Practice being positive. Make yourself smile. Please keep me updated as to how you are doing. I will keep you in my thoughts and be hoping for good news. Always remember you are not alone in this struggle. You may be able to help others with posting your own experience. Good luck!!!!

Lone, It feels so good to know others feel like I do. I am not the only one. It is so dark in this lonely world. Everyone is going so fast paced. No one stops to smell the roses. At least they don't have the time.
I am so tired. Tired of being pushed around, used and always doing things for everyone else. What is there for me? Well, that is why I am sitting here on this forum. For me. I am about to go through a divorce. And I will be alone again. 3rd marriage. I know, it hurts so much to be alone. I have asked God if He is turning against me too. Pain is the only thing that seems real.
I am not glad anyone else is suffering. I am just glad that you all are here.
Laura
Happy 40th birthday to me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! I hope you found some joy in your day and hope you find more joy in the comming days.

Best wishes!
~G

don't worry i'm a loner myself, i know how u feel and i would feel the same way having to not to attend all these events, so what?? prom was okay.. u just dress up and eat and dance the food wasn't that great. sport teams?? maybe you just need to be in shape because being in a sport teams requires a lot of running and if u can't run for 5 mins like me then your no good,,ehehhe,, cheer up, u didn't miss much.. and having 1 girlfriend is better then having 5/10 u want to be broken hearted even more??gosh.... so u never had real friends? when u grow up your friends will disapear becuase everyone will be more independent with their life, it's fine. and about net socailizing u can always apply on facebook,myspace, etc... without having anything personal items on your page u can just simply cruise around the net for entertainment, i do that all the time.
PLEASE do not do anything harmful to yours self it's not worth it! trust me in 40 yrs from now your going to luagh about it and if u kill yourself in some culture they say that you will stay on earth until the day your suppose to die, so if your supposed to die in 50yrs then u would be ALONE on earth again. 2nd, i herd that the evil will take you, so don't suicide.. i thought about that before it took me a long time to recouperate, there's soooo many things you can do in life that your missing.

1st, you need to learn to love yourself, and have more confidence n self esteem, u need to learn to believe in yourself and god/angels. your not having luck with finding friends maybe it's the place you hanging out, u should join some activities, like dancing(salsa,etc..) yoga, these activities will help u to interact with others, if not than at least the instructor will have no chose but to talk to you,,ehehhe,,, u should have some HUMOR, humor is the key to happiness to life.
i see that your very depress, do you really need friends? well, you should focus on something that makes u happy when ur down n no it's not making urself cry to sleep, u know what go out to eat try different ethnic foods be more open minded to everything and anything.
you should go work out more oftenly it will help u to feel better about yourself, don't let the depression ruine your life, it will make u lazzy and gain weight and that is not ur goal besides being over weight is not so attractive, u need to take better care of yourself when ur inshape it will help u to attract more people, would u like to date someone who is 4 times bigger than u?? if not than u should head to the gym so u would waste anytime at home depress,, u need to be out more, driving around cities and seeing different scenories will make u feel happier,, u need to get away from the issolation of yourself n start being out in the real world.
try to attend church, if ur not catholic then just still attend some mass/church u will feel the love, u need to pray even more harder, GOD did not send u to earth and made u this way, all depress n so,, maybe he has something better for you but u just haven't found it yet, there's always a meaning in life u just need to make the best of every situation that comes yourway and always stay positive and try to make yourself feel good, i do it all the time n it works. I asked god why he made me the way i am, i'm so depress with my life i hate myself but u know what your here to learn and be happy with what u have.
i hope u the best in make good decisions in life, be kind to others n especailly yourself..

positive changes:
-eating habbits, try new food
-travel
-joining activities
-going to the gym, lose some weight n make yourself look good
-changing perspective in life
-get a hair cut more often
-learn to love yourself
it's time for a new begining look forward and don't let the pass take u over, let the bygones be bygone.
hope for the best sunshine

Don‘t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Hey people,
at first i would like to say that im kinda shocked hearing about all of your stories. pretty bad things to live on with. its good you're still dealing with it tho.
But now, here's the thing. I feel lonely and depressed all the time, but most of the time i just cant make up my mind about how i feel, what i feel, and what it means to feel the way im feeling.

I hope i made a little sense. Any HELP?

Thanks a lot...
Dutch guy

Gosh reading your post was so moving. I am sure it will get better and you have alot of good to give to the world and the right people when you are ready. Please write me I would like to be your friend.

WOW!!!When I read your post, lone, there were just so many similarities to how I feel. You are definitely not the only one that feels this way. I just could not articulate it.

I to have spent my life in isolation, with no friends to speak of. I thought I may have found, at least a friend, but it turns out I was deluding myself. I also suffer weight issues. I finally got that under control. I thought perhaps if I lost all the weight, things would change, but they have not.

What really struck me is how you have trained yourself to not desire a woman or be in the company of one. You are one up on me. I'm a fair bit older than you, 37, and never had a girlfriend or even a date for that matter. I thought I had trained myself not to think about those type of possibilities anymore. I knew ever since I was an early teen that I would never have anyone so I managed to turn off that want. Atleast most of the time.

But in the past year I met someone at work that made me want these things again. And this time I can't seem to turn it off. So I really relate to sitting by and watching everyone else live. And knowing tomorrow will just be the same. Day after day.

I see you originally posted your message in 2008. Just about a year ago. I hope you are feeling better now. You are young yet - there is hope. I know that may sound hallow from someone like me. Woke up again in tears this morning. But you have chance, you had someone, traveled, etc.

Anyway good luck.

I am alone depressed and have lot of talent but always some sort of fear that is making to me keep away from people and places. I wanted to settle career wise earning good, but imagine i am not in a dreamworld that without giving a try for job or posting my resume how will i get a job. I make myself comfortable by adjusting to the present situations and things, but its only for short time. After some days iam back to same situation. Always look for a luck in everything without much trials from myside.....i know iam not answering to your question......but i am so alone now...thought to write what i felt like...

i identify so strongly with so much of this -- never having a friend, never having gone on a date. There has been no solution for me. No one can grasp my loneliness and alienation, and how cruel people have been to me. My life was over before it ever began. Maybe there will be hope for you.

Hey Lone, I am 45, your story echoes my childhood, its spooky. I have a wife and three kids now. I still get feelings of being alone.We are all victims ( to a degree )
of our childhood.
Its now about your choice. I found it hard to gain the confidence to do anything but I kept on fighting and hoping
albeit the fight and hope had gone.
There are decent people out there, it appears that society is breeding some not so decent. You have got to believe in yourself and keep trying.