Hi, I'm 19. I've been depressed since I was 13. I feel like I'm reaching breaking point. For the last 6 years I've been searching, but haven't found anything. I looked for God, couldn't find him. I looked for a father and mother, they were always away. I looked for a sister, she's always hated me (apparently I'm not cool enough). I looked for a friend, I couldn't find one. I'm the nice guy you'll meet and who'll take genuine interest in your life (I get excited by other peoples good news and sad at the bad news). I'm the guy who won't mention himself in a conversation unless asked about. I'm the guy that gets the job done, no-complaints, and moves on with his life. I always thought that eventually I'll find a girlfriend, but every girl I meet treats me like a weirdo. I always thought I'd eventually get a friend who I can talk to about this sort of stuff and let off some pressure on my shoulders, but even then, I get treated like a freak (and the attention is rarely kept on me). I went into therapy in my last year of high-school only for the therapist telling me every single session, that I'm normal. But normal people don't go to washrooms to cry during recess or just go through entire days without saying anything. Right now I have no idea where my life's going, mainly because I'm being pulled into nothing, just on a standstill. I used to love sports, but my dad told me I have no future in that. I then turned to rap, but my mom told me she'd hate me if I did. Now I'm on drugs. I have everything that a normal teenager could want, yet I'm still emotionally unstable. You'll notice I used a lot of "i"'s in my statement here, is it because of the way the world treats me or is it because I'm just screwed up?
I am sorry that you are down and out...I don't know you so I could not tell you what the problem is or even know how you act around people. How are the girls treating you like a wierdo. Is it something that is being said? Do you work? If so, do you have a friend at work or at school if you go to school? What do you do when you are not working or going to school if either? I would suggest going to a gym and try to do more in social settings. Participate in sports if it would make you happy, for some, it may not be a future in it but if it makes you happy then by all means do it. Sports is great for social interaction skills and is great for the physical aspect of it. If you are meeting girls and they are treating you different, figure out why so you can work on it, If its something you say, or do. Its hard to know what to say to a stranger but all I can say is you can do whatever you want to do. You should not have to get your approval from your parents. They should love you no matter what you do and support whatever you want to do. If not, get your own place and be independent. They should come around. I hate that you all dont appear to be closer. Have you ever tried a social networking site? It might help you meet new people in your area and it helps to break the ice through emails than meeting someone in person for the first time. Good luck to you and Hang in there!
Hi, I read your post and I totally understand where you're coming from since I've felt this sometimes myself. However, i believe that you are unnecessarily being hard on yourself. don't always be the nice guy. remember, the weight of the world is not on your shoulders. complain a bit - vent it out. stop caring about the way others treat you. you have every right to be yourself - normal or not.and do not harm yourself (or others)by doing drugs. you might feel alone but you are not. do something you love and forget the rest
I am going through the same thing. everyday i feel like s**t and do not know where my life is heading. I have plenty of people around me, but they are all self obsessed and just into themselves. my so called "friends"''s true colours are coming out and they are none other than fake. I am living by my parents wishes and am in a degree that they wwant me to be in. You know what the problem with us is right? We''re are emotionally unstable. if we could just hold onto our feelings we would be fine. Nothing would be able to knock us down..so why does it? The person above me is right. get out there, do something, keep ur mind busy. ur mind and soul wont have any time to feel like s**t if u keep urself busy.
I have suffered years of depression. Its a cold and lonely place to be but is also a place and time when you start to question yourself.
Why do I feel like this?
What is it that is making me feel like this?
What is it like to be happy?
Look at someone that is happy and try to see what is it that makes them happy.
For me, once I hit my lowest point I started to ask myself questions like this. I started to research depression, being alone, the brain and body and other disorders. Understanding depression is the first step to eliminating it from your life. Once you ask yourself these questions you can work on the things that is making you feel like that. If you find yourself being forced to act or behave like someone else to be accepted by friends and family then you need to take a step back and question yourself if they are really "friends". A key aspect to a happy life is to be yourself and not really give a poop what anyone else says or thinks about you. Live your life the way you want.
The key steps I took to beat depression was:
- No pills or anti-depressants (these are just a temporary fix and not a long term solution)
- Question yourself
- Find the people, things, obsessions, guilt, behavior ect that make you feel down and make a list. On the other side of the paper make a list of the things that make you feel happy.
- Work on eliminating those things bad things on the list one by one. Don't try to tackle the entire list. Take your time. Everyday try to include the things on the list that make you happy.
- Find a place in your city that you can connect with nature. Visit that place often and just sit there and enjoy the moment.
- Meditation. I would often visit that place above and meditate or just think.
- Research. Do lots of researching, the more you learn and know about what is wrong with you, the easier it is to understand, the easier it is you understand, the easier it is to "pull yourself out of it".
- Find a hobby. Keeping busy will help keep your mind off the things that get you down.
I highly recommend looking up "Dr. Joe Dispenza". This guy is a genius and his lectures will really help you understand and how you can change yourself. Look up his lectures and talks on youtube. Understanding your brain is essential to evolving into a new person.