Hey, everybody. This is the first time I've ever done this so, here goes. I will be 18 in almost a month now, and I am single. I can't even remember when I had my last girlfriend. The longer I stay single the more painful it gets. I'm very depressed at this point and am starting to push people away due to it. Everybody around me is in a relationship, making my depression worse as they display their affection or rant on and on about their partner. Now, whenever I ask a girl out, it always ends in rejection. A lot of the time the girl will respond with the line "I'm sorry, but you're more like a brother to me." Sometimes they will call me a creep to my face because I'm too nice, but I'm generally a kind person. And sometimes they get out of answering the question by saying they either have a boyfriend or because they aren't allowed to date. Things are only going to get harder because I'm going to be 18 soon so girls younger than me are, for the most part, not an option, and older girls usually want nothing to do with younger guys in my area, so they are also not an option. Ugh! Please give me advice or something to stop this depression.
OrthodoxBirch84, I am so sorry to hear about your relationship problems. My only advise to the people in your position is to work on the things they can influence and try not to stress over the things they can't change. First, know that a good relationship can be a wonderful thing that enhances a person's life but it cannot and should not be the ONLY thing in your life. Other than in the obvious ways- love, companionship, sexual satisfaction- it will not fix any problem that you have. And I feel that people should concentrate more on what they can offer another person rather than only thinking of what the other can do for them. So, that is something to consider.
Also, I wonder what kind of women you are approaching and under what circumstances you ask them out. If you're going for looks but not substance you will probably only be interested in women who feel the same and view looks, money and vehicles most important for the men they date. Bars and keggers are places to hook up but, in general, not good places to meet someone if you want a serious relationship. No one likes blind dates but those who know you best are good sources for connecting you with women who might be compatible with you.
Also, since you will soon be 18, college and/or a job are probably in your near future. Both are good places to meet women. Many a person has reinvented themselves in college and shed the shyness or high school reputation that hindered their dating. The job is great also as long as you limit your interests to those you don't work with directly and be careful that you don't cross the line into workplace harassment.
Above all else, do not come across as desperate. Nothing turns off others quite like desperation. Confidence and ease with women are what is needed.
Good luck. I hope your situation improves soon.
You don't need to put a "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" label on anything. Just try to hang out with friends more. Find at least one good single friend you can talk to and trust. Take it slow there's no rush into getting into a relationship. Love is only a small factor in life. Keep yourself busy with positive things (thats my moto) lol. You can be alone and still not be "alone". Just learn how Don't look for love, if your patient then it will find you.
Yeah... I've kind of have only three friends... One is at college, the other only ever wants to play card games (and he has absolutely no issues with getting in a relationship so I hate being around him too often even though he is my best friend), and the other friend's parents don't let her hang out with boys by herself or even if there is a single boy in the whole group (met her on a trip to tour with a group of like 20 highschoolers). Hanging out in general is near impossible
In our country the young studs says a quot "we you like a girl try to run away form her she become confuse why you r running away form her and she start running after you to know the reason" moral of the story is girls saw you giving them such attraction that's why they ignore. Be a man do some thing which invite them to run after you.
My apologies if I undermined the seriousness of your post, but I'm guessing my situation is different to yours because I'm incredibly ugly and repel men and women alike with my looks and awkward personality.
Personally I've been ugly since I was 11 and spent alot of time stressing about whether I will or how I could get into a relationship as growing up, boys around me were bagging girls like they were fishing. Being catholic, I turned to the bible and it gave me excellent quotes:
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
I realised that being alone doesn't mean the end of life and that I could enjoy life by myself too. Relationships are absolutely gorgeous but it does require sacrifice and compromise. Being single, albeit lonely, offers independence and much freedom. You get to explore, enjoy and perceive the world through your unique, unbiased perspective and it truly is a wonderful way to experience the miracle of life!
Being single also gives you more time to enjoy hobbies such as driving, taking relaxing walks, playing games, watching clouds go past and enjoying nature.
I think that the first step to overcoming your depression is to recognise that being single isn't the end of the world, rather just a different road in the journey of life.
Also don't be envious of your friends and there relationships. Be happy for them and their partners, as jealousy is evil and inhumane.
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. "
Nonetheless the fact that you have female friends doesn't mean you repel females, therefore YOU CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND! Just change your personality, appearance and physique through a makeover and exericse. Perhaps start afresh? Look for girls, not within your social network, e.g. perhaps at venues in your community such as at the library or a more social environment.
This however does require you to take the first step so refine your social skills and be kind and casual when you approach them.
I honestly don't think you are hopeless. You need to think the same thing too!
Best of luck friend! (and remember that it isn't the end of your life if you do remain single)