Bumblebee, It sounds like it can be a yeast infection as well??
Spermicide is terrible. The main ingredient (nonoxynol-9) is the same as used in domestic cleaners. My advice will be to use hormonal birth control together with condoms to give you the assurance. You can also get a pack of emergency pills (Plan B or others) and just make sure one of you look at the condom after he pulls out to make sure it stayed intact. If something went wrong, use Plan B immediately.
There are two types of condoms, latex and polyurethane. The latex is normally the culprit so try the others. Let him put a drop or two lube inside the condom. That way it will feel better for both as the lube will help to conduct heat and make him more sensitive.
Best of luck!