I have a boyfriend that is an amazing man when is not drinking!! He is an alcoholic. He has been in rehab several times and halfway houses. He came out of the halfway house in November. Since he has been out he has been drinking about once a month... except for the last two weeks he has drank almost everyday. I had been taking his money, wallet and car keys to keep him safe. He agrees to needing to go into rehab again and is at his parents house with someone until admittance tomorrow. This past week he drove drunk and picked up my 3 year old!! And got in a physical confrontation with me to get his keys right in front of my child. I have never exposed my child to anything like this previously and the line was drawn.
I need to know how to proceed.. He is or at least seems sincerely sorry and I love this man with my whole heart! He is an amazing person in so many ways when he is sober! While he is getting help, I need to know how to respond to him? Should I shut him off and tell him that I don't want anything to do with him until he is out? Or should I be by his side, visiting him? I am not sure what to do?? I am scared if I am by his side he will think I will be if he does this again in the future.
Thank you for your post. However, I am looking for someone to respond who has experience with an alcoholic. Like someone who is involved in Al-Anon. I am not looking for someone who is ignorant on the situation.
u can join Al-Anon, u can research Al-Anon, u can call them, write them, u could have done this on many occasions according to u "He has been in rehab several times and halfway houses."
The one truly choosing to ignore reality seems to be u.
This is the life u offer your child, demanding others acquiesce to your co-dependence.
best wishes TO YOUR CHILD
btw how about mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, ministers, previous re-habs HAVE U IGNORED ALL?
I plan on joining Al-Anon. I haven't up to this point because it had not been an issue! He would drink on and off but it honestly never became an issue until the past month. I was beginning to think he wasn't truly an alcoholic! I was not in his life in previous experiences. I built a relationship while he has been sober and got to know the person he truly was, before even knowing he was living in a half-way house. That being said, I don't judge people on their past experiences and completely believe people have the ability to change.
As for the more information you speak about.. family, ministers etc.. Sadly I have none of these in my life... Thus, i am on here! I am not your typical "whoa as me" girl who bases life on emotion. I do look at situation and make logical decisions... which you may believe I am not making the right one based on this information, however, I have not made a decision yet as to what I am doing. This guy is a really good person, and whether he is in my life as a friend or a lover he will definitely be there. Everyone in life has issues!
As for my son, he will ALWAYS come first in my life, and this person treats him like he is his own when he is sober. OH, and like I said before my son has NEVER been exposed to any of his actions, prior to this one incident... NOT that it makes it right I know.
What makes this time in rehab any different? I don't know.. and don't know that it will... what i do know is he stopped going to meetings and that effected him.