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Alcoholic behavior ?

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January 21st, 2009
I have been dating this guy for nine months now and at first eveything was fine we went to bars and nothing went wrong. Then about two months into it that's when it all started he got drunk and just started being really mean to me we was calling me names telling me I was no good. Well I thought maybe he was just in a bad mood that night then it started to happen more and more offten and stated to get hands on. The worst thing about it is I can tell when It's going to be a good night and when it's going to be a bad night his personality changes completly, and most of the time he says he blacked out but is really sorry the next day!!!! So far I have had several brusis and at least one cracked rib. I think he should quit drinking all together but he thinks he can just cut back. I don't know how to talk to him about it anymore when he talks about going out and "drinking a lot" I go from happy to wanting to cry just at the thought of him drinking and when he see's me upset about it he says "i'm letting myself get upset" but how can I not when he has promiesd me so many times he was going to do good then it happens all over again. So is it my fault I fell this way should I just back off or dose he have a problem?
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juxtarose99
replied January 21st, 2009
It sounds like he has a problem, and unfortunatley there's next to nothing you can do to get him to see this. You have to decide what's best for you at this point rather than trying to change him because it's going to take something big to give him a wake up call. That could be either a DUI or he could do something more to you than just cracking your ribs, something a lot more.
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sharonsykes2009
replied July 10th, 2009
Your story is very worrying you need to think about your safty and not his at the moment. Although you do care for this man and you may want to help him he needs to help himself by seeking advice about his drinkin If you feel he wont verbily listen to you write him a letter this just might work or visit your GP for somr advice. please dont let this man hurt you so many women loose their lifes in the situation your in.wish you well x
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missmandy
replied July 14th, 2009
It sounds as though he's got a serious problem with alcohol, though that in and of itself does not cause someone to become physically abuse toward their partner. Alcohol lowers his inhibitions, so even with therapy to address the unfair behaviour and abuse, he'd have to be prepared to make a serious lifestyle change in order to assure that he can stay calm around you. Your situation sounds dangerous and I'd recommend you seek immediate help for YOU - you're the one who's in danger. If he loves you he'll be willing to make the necessary changes but right now you have to put your self and your health first. I'm sure you love him and I'm sure that when it's good, it's great, but this is a very dangerous situation and right now he needs to sort out many things and he's got to do it for himself. You can be supportive, but only if you're alive and well.
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