I have been taking adderal for 3 years now. I have been drinking for 7 years now and pain pills for 4 years now. I'm 21 and can say that I have had a lot of fun but I have also caused my self alot of heart ache. Someone once told me addiction and drugs is like a dominoes games. One just runs into the other. Now maybe its each day runs into the next or each drug hits and efftects me on the next. No matter what you think that means the fact that I've came to understand and didn't see or was blinded by before was that drugs change who I am and although I really love the highs that I get the multiple negative consequences are long term and always end up making a person have regrets. I have regrets of times when I got in trouble with te law my latest is the DUI that I got and others are AI's and well the list could go on. I regret how I acted and what goals I had set for myself over the years.Not because I didn't achevie most I also didnt set the right ones or the most important.My mom was amazing and showed love for me that I dont believe could have been stronger or deeper. As I got into high school My parents grew apart and my mom was gone all the time and My dad isolated his self in the den. This left me in the middle and stressed making me want to find an escape from it to get me back to the place I was before it all started.What I wished had known then though was that as you get older more stress is added and buring it in a head full of alsohol adderall and pills isnt the solution becausethat stress will stay with a person and finally break down a person where they hit rock bottom and I've thought I had hit that place 3 or 4 times but always finding myself further down the next time. I've hated myself because I could have stopped it before it got so bad but I didn't. It's always the fear of how I'll feel tomorrow or next week but what I'm really noticing now is that the next few months may be bad or year but atleast I will be able to finallly accomplish a goal thats positive for me long term and that I can finaaly hopefully one day be happy again. This stress and angar that I have in me didnt whose to be there and the person I was then people loved. I was what you call popular because of the little things that made who I was but I have changed myself into a completly different person. Constantly reretting my past and making myself more depressed by thinking about it insteaad of thinking about the future and how I can learn from my mistakes. Because Iwhose to be able to atleast say Ive never got a D in a class but this semester I think I'm going to be receiving 2 F's and after years of driving every where drunk got a DUI 4 days after my 21st birthday. How IRONIC? HUH? something or someone is telling me something and I've got to do something about it. My sister and mom are worried but are too scared to talk to me about any of it becasue my angar that I have inside of me comes out and I either neby it or something worse.I cant even imagine how I could quit all of these drugs at the same time but I really neeed to. And I really dont want to go to rehab for 30 dys to do it. I want to do it on my own and I'm so afraid I cant do it but I just need to keep thinking positively and hope somethings helps me overcome this awful sickness that I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of. I'm such a smart individual and I have no idea how I let myself do this to me.

Anyone who read my story... I would love to hear anything back from you. Any thing could help me out!