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Q: Ahh I hate him!
asked by: preggie meggie on April 4th, 2008
Supporter
So I have a question, Jarad...the babys dad and I do NOT get along. I absulotly HATE him. I don't want to be with him anymore! I havent answered his calls in three days and am hoping he will get the hint and leave me alone. So my questions are 1) am I being selfish and 2) Whats the likelyhood of him getting custidy of the baby? He has just been out of Prison for almost a year...so Im thinking he has a very little chance.

Thanks, Megan
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Mabel
replied on April 4th, 2008
Moderator
Not very high. First of all he'd have to take you to court and that costs money. Chances are he isn't going to do this. And if he does, how can he prove you unfit to keep a child?
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preggie meggie
replied on April 4th, 2008
Supporter
Ingi wrote:
Not very high. First of all he'd have to take you to court and that costs money. Chances are he isn't going to do this. And if he does, how can he prove you unfit to keep a child?

I dont see how he could prove me unfit. I have a job he dosnt (anymore), I have a stable place to live he dosent, ect.
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Mabel
replied on April 4th, 2008
Moderator
Then you answered your own question Wink
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RachieBaby82
replied on April 5th, 2008
Experienced User
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation...that totally sucks! Sad

I would think the chances of the baby's dad getting custody are very slim at this point...especially whereas you have a stable job & home to provide for your child.

*Hugs*
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newmommy07
replied on April 6th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
damn he dosnt have much of a chance at all and if hes been to prison, doubt he will make a real effort to try to get cusody of your child. im sorry to hear of your situation but i think you and baby deserve more. i cant believe u work and all, idk how u do it, your amazing! keep it up honey, best wishes. pm me! =)
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 7th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
He has no chance in the world.

On another note, If you are with him, you should just tell him strait out you do not wish to be with him instead of ignoring his calls (unless you are already not together and he just wants to get back with you). If you don't he will continue to call and bother you.
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preggie meggie
replied on April 7th, 2008
Supporter
Thank you all so much for re-plying, everything you all said made me feel so much better and safe. My biggest fear is that somone will try to take the baby from me. I think its just the hormones.
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
No I think it's a fear any mother would have in certain situations. You should have nothing to be worried about though.
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Eyes Wide Shut
replied on April 8th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
First off, Was he in jail for a violent crime or a nonviolent crime?

It's horrible to discriminate on someone for jail time not knowing the severity of crime commited.
How do we know he's not in there for multiple DUI's? Or shoplifting?

Your post basically says to me that you don't want his support for this child, at all....emotionally OR financially.

Every baby should have the chance to meet & KNOW his/her father. (unless he beat the mother, or was/is a child molester.)

I don't think it should be left up to the mother whether or not the child has a father in their life.
I find it selfish.

Don't assume that just because HE can't afford court, that his family can't or won't.
Especially if he has strong feelings towards this unborn baby.
Attorneys/lawyers DO offer payment plans after all...

Sarah
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I really don't think it matters what he went to jail for. He went and it's not good and never looks good in a custody case.
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Eyes Wide Shut
replied on April 8th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
oh but it does matter.

A judge can/will determine the severity of the crime committed, and decide what percetage of custody(if any) needs to be appointed.

In MANY cases (like my brother in law's), they start them on supervised visits, and work their way up to unsupervised.

It takes about 6 months to get complete alone time...and only for a couple hours.

THEN, after that goes PERFECTLY, they start with over nights.
It's a very long process, but it's definatly possible for a father (who's been in jail), to get patrial custody.

No court will deny any father access to their child if they(the father) truely want it and is paying child support.

BUT, if she's refusing his support while she's pregnant(effects the well being of the child IF he would supply food/money), why should she get it when the baby's born?!

I don't know the details about this, only what I've read.
So I can't really say MUCH about HER situation...until I know the facts.

Sarah
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Mabel
replied on April 8th, 2008
Moderator
babymajic0506 wrote:

No court will deny any father access to their child if they(the father) truely want it and is paying child support.



That isn't entirely true. If it may in any way harm the child and/or the mother, the father will not have any access or rights to that child but will still be required to pay child support.
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Eyes Wide Shut
replied on April 8th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
And those are my thoughts exactly.

babymajic0506 wrote:

Every baby should have the chance to meet & KNOW his/her father. (unless he beat the mother, or was/is a child molester.)

I don't think it should be left up to the mother whether or not the child has a father in their life.
I find it selfish.

Sarah


BUT, if the father has attended Anger Management successfully, SOME judges will grant steps to be taken in the custody situation. Supervised (by not just the mother).

Sarah
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Mabel
replied on April 8th, 2008
Moderator
Oh, I entirely agree. It isn't really the mother's choice if the father wants to be involved, he should be involved.

Since SHE IS MARRIED. There will have to be a custody hearing based on the divorce. So he'll be involved, she'll be involved. Everyone will be involved.
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mc4ever02
replied on April 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
babymajic0506 wrote:
No court will deny any father access to their child if they(the father) truely want it and is paying child support.


Paying/not paying child support has nothing to do with visitation rights.

I'm also pretty sure she is not talking about partial custody. It sounds like she is scared of losing ALL custody of her child. But I could be wrong.
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Eyes Wide Shut
replied on April 8th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Oh, I had NO idea they were married!!
All I read was "baby's dad" as the title...sorry.


Sarah
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 9th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
mc4ever02 wrote:
babymajic0506 wrote:
No court will deny any father access to their child if they(the father) truely want it and is paying child support.


Paying/not paying child support has nothing to do with visitation rights.

I'm also pretty sure she is not talking about partial custody. It sounds like she is scared of losing ALL custody of her child. But I could be wrong.
Thats what I was talking about. I don't think they would ever give them full custody of the child reguardles of what he was in jail for, same goes with a mother.
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