Afraid to get tested

In New York they have FREE clinics where you can get tested for HIV and all other STDs free of charge..you dont even have to give your real name.Get tested.

Thank you for your advice. I am going nuts in my own head right now.
I am aware of the free testing sites, but what really scares me is what will happen if i am positive.
With no insurance now, i cant imagine i will be able to afford the medical expenses of a chronic disease like hiv.
This is why i am thinking of waiting until i have insurance to get tested.
To add to this, I am afraid for my gf as well. We have been living together for a long time. If i did become infected, it was during a period a few years ago when were split up and i did not consider the possibility when we got back together until i started looking into these night sweats. She got tested a year ago and was negative. She will be going in again to see her doctor soon so i believe she will be tested again.
I am terrified right now that i may have gotten her sick. Just being near her is unbearable, because the thought that this could have happened is terrifying. I want to talk to her about my fear but i am paralyzed with fear right now.
I am going through the most horrible mental anguish of my life. When the anxiety takes hold, i cant eat or sleep.
I dont know what to do.
If i am positive, i know you can live a long healthy life with the right treatment, so i just want to make sure i will be able to have that. Sorry for the long post i have a lot on my mind. Thank you for listening, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Waiting and fear is the real killer..the longer you wait the sicker you can get. In this case,it is better to know and not put your head in the sand.If you are positive then it is not going to just go away.
I have had HIV/AIDS for over 15 years and am healthy and fine.It is all about getting tested and taking action..if you are pos then get on meds ASAP and start living right.
AIDS and HIV is not the death sentence it once was in the 1980's so it really isn't anything to feel like your life is over about..it can be a wake up call to start living healthy and longer.
Your state supplies free medicine for HIV/AIDS so that isn't a concern.
If by chance you are positive then you will be assigned a counselor who will help you threw the paperwork and get you on meds and help with everything else.
I take one pill a day.Just one pill at night.It is no different than any other chronic illness.As a matter of fact,it is easier to manage than diabetes,crones disease,etc..

Thank you for your advice. I am glad you are doing well. You have been very kind to take time to respond to my post. If you don't mind me asking, were you feeling ill when you were first diagnosed or was it just a screening? Once you have symptoms, can you get better or would it be too late?

U can ask me anything...
I was VERY sick when I got tested...I was so ill that I couldn't function.I lost 60 ponds in 6 weeks....my bed was drenched with sweat after being asleep for 10 minutes..If I was able to eat I threw it up immediately..horrible symptoms and extremely sick.At one point i swear I died in my sleep..I could see myself on the couch and I was floating over myself...it may have just been a raging fever but it seemed real to me.
Once I went to the doctor and got on the medication I became better within weeks and within 3 months I was back to myself.
I am fat and healthy now...actually,I need to drop about 15 ponds because I am over weight at this point.I sleep like a baby and all the symptoms are 100% gone.
There is hope. But you have to deal with the reality of life....and take action.Its YOUR life and no one else is going to care for you...you have to take care of yourself.

Thank you so much homerx. You have really given me some perspective on this, sometimes the fear can be overwhelming and your kind words help me get a grip and do what i need to do to take care of myself and my loved ones. I can only hope everything is okay.
I wish you all the best.

Hi Homerex,
How are you doing today?
I just wanted to give you an update - i am going on saturday to get the rapid test done.
Im scared shitless, i revel in the few moments when i feel strong enough to handle whatever the outcome of this test will be.
I am just praying for courage.
I should have done it long ago.
I hope its negative, but if its not, hopefully its not too late.
Cross your fingers for me will ya?
Be well!

jacksonnyc Hay ..glad you are handling things and I got my fingers crossed.You'll be great,I am sure of it.

My test for Saturday was cancelled because of the snow storm we got here in new York. I'm going in with my gf in about an hr or two. Please keep us in mind. I hope, more than, anything that she is okay. I'm scared but we need to know. Thanks for your support.

your welcome and good luck.

Hey Homerex. Cait and I just got back from the clinic. We were both NEGATIVE!!! I cried when the dr read us the results. Thank you so much for your support!!! I dont think i could have done it without your guidance. I wish you nothing but the best Homerex. Be well!

Thank you and congratulations!!

Homerex, I want to lay this issue to rest i just have one more question for you, we both tested negative with the rapid finger prick test. The possible exposure was way beyond the window period. Can i trust these results? Is the finger prick rapid test accurate?

yes

hi,

i am 29 yrs old, I did an hiv test in april 2011, it was negative, i had also done an syphilis test too and both were negative. i was very happy cause i was in that relationship for years. i went and did something stupid in august of the same year. i started dating this guy and i ask him about hios status and he said he did one 6 months ago... i still used a condom with him but then he begged that he wanted to just feel the rel thing for just a little bit and i let him,, i let him do it just for a few minutes and stopped... but it been bothering me so much cause i know i shouldnt have... i didnt get any symptoms at all, i just keep worrying. today i just wanted to ask him cause i still had his number,,, i ask him if he had done a test after we broke up and he said he is fine... and keep telling me that i should go do one of my own and i cant take his word for it,,, in\m so worried cause i have cheated and now im so worried... this is killing me cause i dont want to hurt my family. i have a little girl she is 7 and even thoough people say you can live long, it kills me cause i dont want to fail her... and i cant fail this test... i want to go so bad but yet im afraid. its cause i dont want to have infected my boyfriend and i didnt tell him about this guy... can i get hiv from someone and i have symptoms before they do and it was i who pass on the virus to them...