Medical Questions > Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum

Advice please, sex, masturbation, porn

I think I broke up my relationship with my wife. We have been together for 3 years and married for a year and a half. When we first got together, I told her that I was a very sexual person, and she responded that she wasn't. We had a great sex life, and I was very open. I told her about porn that I had, and she said she didn't care for it. She found some pictures on my computer of an ex girlfriend. I didn't have a clue that they were on there still. I deleted all of them, or so I thought. She was upset, understandably. I got rid of them. I would masturbate when she wasn't in the mood and things were fine. She found out that I would look at porn occasionally and got upset. I stopped watching porn and just continued to masturbate. Sex became every 2 months and she stopped taking care of herself. She found out that I was taking care of myself and she said that I couldn't do that either. I find her very sexy and would do anything for her, but it is like we are roommates who sleep in the same bed. I cook for us, clean for us, pet her head, rub her shoulders, try to be romantic, try to be sensual, and i try to make her feel like a queen. Yesterday, I was caught looking at porn and she said that she is leaving me. I didn't and don't want to hurt her, but sex is a normal part of a marriage. When we do have sex it is great and we both enjoy it, but once in 2-3 months is killing me. I have never cheated, or thought about cheating. I take care of myself and watch porn so she doesn't feel pressure and I am not constantly upsetting her with my advances. We have talked about it a lot and we can't come to an agreement. She wants me to never masturbate and will not have sex with me. What do I do? I love her more than anything. I have explained to her that she is sexy and the pictures and my hand don't replace her. I know some women hate porn, and I understand that. I have done the no porn thing, but I can't go with out taking care of my self if we don't make love. I am rambling... Please be nice, but tell me how it is. Thank you, and will answer any questions you may have.
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied April 21st, 2012
I hate when I find out that my husband watches porn online, but I don't get mad because I have to go to work and he is at home all day. So I prefer that he masturbates watching porn than him going out to meet other women. I think your wife is being selfish. You have a need and either your wife helps you relief that need or she should let you take care of it on your own without getting involved with other women. By the way, I just found out that my husband is checking out an online dating website, I love him with all my heart but I am starting to dislike him. Good luck!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 22nd, 2012
I am aware my boyfriend watches porn, and i extremely dislike it, but i agree with Marylander40, I am glad he takes care of him self (we have clashing work/school schedules so we dont see each other very often) when im not aroun then him going out to meet other women. It's understandable that you have needs,everyone does, she's just gotta get over it.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 29th, 2012
I am a straight male senior. I am married to a great woman. She has decided that sex is no longer a "big deal" for her. She knows I masturbate, as I've shared that fact with her. She neither endorses nor rejects the notion. She simply accepts it.

Other than the sexual "thing," we have an excellent relationship. She is not subjected to something that does not interest her, and I continue to self-pleasure to satisfy that need in me.
|
Did you find this post helpful?