Advice please, sex, masturbation, porn

I think I broke up my relationship with my wife. We have been together for 3 years and married for a year and a half. When we first got together, I told her that I was a very sexual person, and she responded that she wasn't. We had a great sex life, and I was very open. I told her about porn that I had, and she said she didn't care for it. She found some pictures on my computer of an ex girlfriend. I didn't have a clue that they were on there still. I deleted all of them, or so I thought. She was upset, understandably. I got rid of them. I would masturbate when she wasn't in the mood and things were fine. She found out that I would look at porn occasionally and got upset. I stopped watching porn and just continued to masturbate. Sex became every 2 months and she stopped taking care of herself. She found out that I was taking care of myself and she said that I couldn't do that either. I find her very sexy and would do anything for her, but it is like we are roommates who sleep in the same bed. I cook for us, clean for us, pet her head, rub her shoulders, try to be romantic, try to be sensual, and i try to make her feel like a queen. Yesterday, I was caught looking at porn and she said that she is leaving me. I didn't and don't want to hurt her, but sex is a normal part of a marriage. When we do have sex it is great and we both enjoy it, but once in 2-3 months is killing me. I have never cheated, or thought about cheating. I take care of myself and watch porn so she doesn't feel pressure and I am not constantly upsetting her with my advances. We have talked about it a lot and we can't come to an agreement. She wants me to never masturbate and will not have sex with me. What do I do? I love her more than anything. I have explained to her that she is sexy and the pictures and my hand don't replace her. I know some women hate porn, and I understand that. I have done the no porn thing, but I can't go with out taking care of my self if we don't make love. I am rambling... Please be nice, but tell me how it is. Thank you, and will answer any questions you may have.