Hello,
I am a 26 year old male livig with ADD. I am a teacher for children with special needs and a graduate student. I also have a second job that I enjoy doing which includes working with families after school and helping them connect to resources. In late 2010 I was made the decesion to live with my then long term boyfriend and it did not go too well. Not knowing that that I had ADD it seemed like I was a unorganized and day dreaming terror to be with and I see why. The relationship ended not only because of me and I was then victim to domestic violence. Since then I made a decesion to get introspective in order to best help me make decesion while living alone. The implications of add became clear when my former boyfriend was not around to help me the way he did for so much with organizing , laundry, grocery shopping and so on. Before him someone else helped me and it seemed clear I had to start looking after myself.
The devastation of my new cluttered and unorganized life eventually caused me to become very depressed and helpless. At which time I started abusing pain killers for a short time before I realized I had to stop. I went on several months ok but very depressed and this eventually lead me to a social worker then a psychiatrist. They evaluated me in varied ways and the doctor decided the best plan for me was a mild anti depresant pill Wellbutrin 150mg and a dose of adderal in the morning 10mg. It's. Is been sevefal months and I've been feeling better by not feeling extremely exhausted at work and by also having energy and focus to make clear structured decesions.
However i have noticed I have been late often to events of work and have loss interest in running in which I enjoys as a stress reliver before I started any meds. At first I felt the adderall caused me to feel dry and so then we switched it to Vyannse ( I can't spell it nor can I find the bottle at the moment). This pill is 30mgs and allows me to feel not tired but less focused then the adderal...which is fine. Never once do I have trouble sleeping or being over hyper I just feel ready to make decesions and get things done instead of sleepy and unorganized.
My question to anyone who has had the similar walk with me... Why does it sometimes seem that regardless of the meds that everyday is a struggle? I have good days but there are days like today where I feel there is not enough hours to get anything accomplished. I also still make poor minded and impulsive decesions that I often regret or care to see their affects on me. My bank account is often full with money then I find myself broke. When I check my statements I spend small dollar amounts on silly things that eventually leave me broke such as coffee,lunch or stuff at Cvs that I don't need. I feel that I am not in control as my impulses push me to make decesions and I become very depressed once the impact of these decesions hits me. So now I am moving from one apartment to another and I spent all my savings to move on Christmas gifts for my family. Now I'm broke, depressed and unmotivated unless it's for something that is exciting such as a sexual encounter or going to do something fun.
But instead of doing those things I have priorities that I have to pay attention to but I can't seem to bring myself to sit and make those phone calls or address changes or dusting the furniture or moving stuff or orgnizing it and I just wish someone who understood would be there to help me.
Can anyone talk to me? Guidance? Support? Suggestions?
P.s I typed this on my smart phone and I can't seem to spell check it so please do excuse grammar or type errors as my phone is touch screen.
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