How goes it? Is this something something new. I ask this because you never mentioned it in all your other posts about mental disorders, so I am alittle surprised. I guess you have more going on that you need answers to. You have told us that you can't talk to your mom. I really don't know anymore what to tell you. Bottom line here is with all you have going on, you really somehow need to get some help. With multiple issues that you have, your road ahead seems very rocky to say the least without some intervention from somewhere. You have alot build up inside you from what I gather from your previous posts on illness and disorder. If you have all these issue to deal with. We here at ehealth can only suggest and guide and can not take the place of proffessional help, which I think this may called for.

hey---if you need anyting you know where to find me---im always here for you

Usually methods like that do not work away. I know this first hand. You have to want to stop, and you have to want to make these methods work. You have to tell your mind that "I feel pain and its ok" when you use the rubberband, and you have to try to convince your mind" this is red its like blood" when you use the pen, even though you know it's not real. The mind is a powerful tool if you use it correctly.

Have you tried talking to people when you feel the urge to cut? Have you ever written down your thoughts in a journal?

Sometimes what helps me is going outside and just screaming at the top of my lungs until I can't scream anymore and then laying down and looking at the sky. It can have a calming effect and get all the upset energy out.