Hi I have a lot of dirty details that I need some advice on.
1) When I jump into a relationship I jump into the sack right away
2) The relationships end very quickly
3) I go through boyfriends like hotcakes and it isn't fair I just wanted one
Q:: I would like to be more frugal about sex but I also see it as something that is playful, phone sex is kind of fun.. If I am just being playful is that considered o.k.or should I be more frugal about phone sex?
I also see love letters as something fun too so I send a lot of them. But sending too many could be considered smothering. So I'm not sure if I should keep writing him and instead I am writing you.
It's important for me to have my own life. My addiction to sex is very dangerous so I plan to abstain from it for as long as possible. Then maybe if my boyfriend and I reach that level we will do that.
Is it o.k. to talk about my needs if I think I need a man who has more time for me than my bf is giving me? Or should I take it slow and understand that he has a life of his own? He says he's had only one gf and they were together 8 years. That shows me he can commit and I think it would be good to take it slow. Hopefully I can get it right this time around.
If you're abstaining from sex in hopes of having more successful relationships I'd be hesitant. One is not necesarilly to do with the other. Good reasons to seek addiction help for sex are a pattern of harming yourself or others or ignoring dangerous or unpleasant consequences in order to obtain sex. If the only consequence that plagues you because of your addiciton to sex is that your relationships aren't long lasting you should probably take a closer look at what's failing in those relationships. Generally men form very strong bonds with women that become intimate with them quickly and they tend to work harder to support those relationships in the beginning.
Phone sex is fine. It's non-viral, can't get you pregnant and doesn't invite possible harm or drama into your life. It may not be the best way to meet people. you may want to separate your phone sex from your search for a relationship.
If sending love letters makes you happy and it doesn't annoy your partner there's nobody complaining. If your partner feels uncomfortable with that level of attention just write the letters and store them in a box. If they're for your happiness no need to send them.
It's not only ok to talk about your needs but it is the only way in this life that you will ever have your needs met. People aren't psychic, you have to communicate what you want in life, especially in relationships where the demands we put on one another are so much intense. Yes, tell your boyfriend what you need and yes ask him what he needs!.
You sound so young...I question if you are addicted or if it is the only way that you can show both your power and self worth?...I believe that somewhere along the line you have put sex first, instead of being the end result to a wonderful relationship....
Every ad, movie and even books, portray sexual love as the most wonderful pleasure in the world...This is true, but only with age in back of you and finding the right person who puts you before himself...The one who does not want your sexual body, but loves the woman inside of you that is trying to grow...Sex is the end result of this love, not a pop in bed with the girl thinking she is a sex toy and the guilty party as you do...
Find yourself...Stop selling yourself short...You are not addicted...Life has just messed you up...
I don't think this young woman is addicted to sex in any way...I believe she just has her priorities in life turned around...Like so many younger people she has grown up with the sexual part of herself being made a main focus of her virtues in life...She is being used by men as this is the thing that she thinks makes her special...Her problem will be understanding and forgiving herself for this and moving on...She is young and beautiful and can do anything that she wants...She is looking for acceptance...She needs to be loved and this is the only way that she knows how to show it and feel secure...The worst part is that she isn't even enjoying it.....
I would like to have known how old she was?...Not that I have any more comments, but for curiosity after going through this refresher course in life...If I knew then what I know now, I still wonder if I could have straightened her out...So goes life...
An author I like said once that lust is a part of love.
I would clarify that as saying that lust can also be a seeking for love. Lust is normal!
Obviously, if you feel it's an addiction, it's important to discuss it with a therapist.
I've known a few young women with sexual addiction issues when I was growing up. One would sleep with men the same night she met them. Usually, she was intoxicated or high. She would have unprotected sex. I know from talking to her that she didn't care that they didn't care about her well-being.
For her, there were no happy endings. The men who she liked never called her back. She was pretty down about the outcomes later and needed psychological help.
If you feel like your urges for sex are destructive--they're too much of a focus in your life or are out of control--then it's a good time to discuss it with a counselor or therapist.
By the way, an extreme reaction like abstinence is not best. That's mostly guilt you're feeling. The fact is that sex does feel good. Maybe, you have low self-esteem and your trying to fill yourself up with the good feelings that sex and romance provides. There's other ways to fulfill yourself, such as doing good things for yourself like pursuing some personal or career goals.
When a girl starts sex too early in life, she is ususally praised by men for being hot...A wonderful lay....All words to help her believe in her mind that she is as good as it gets....As she ages and turns into a woman, the things that used to be important no longer matter...She gets used to putting out...No satisfaction...Just an act of mating....So she does what she thinks she is good at....Considers herself a sex addict and her own star has been born.....Alas, what happens when the young girl in the woman realizes all her mistakes...And for what?...She is not a sex addict, she is just an easy catch and performing the act that she does best....
when i was young i did the same thing and i couldnt figure out why guys didnt stay around long.
i was physically abused and always depressed, i had low self esteem and sex was my happiness.
my current boy friend and i waited months before we had sex, and i fell so hard for him. we are considered best friends because our relationship started out that way. he also help me expressed my feelings the right way. because of the way i was raised he helped me with a lot of my baggage.
sex can be fun, but it feels much better when both parties are in love with each other. you have to believe that you are precious and any guy have to measure up to your expectations rather than just giving it up to anyone.
If you put it out quickly the boys will just stay with you for the sex. When they have had enough of it they will move on looking for it somewhere else. They will have got bored with you. You need to wait for a while before you let them have it. That way they begin by wanting to be with you for yourself. They will grow to like you as a person not just someone that they can count on for sex at the end of the evening
How exactly is resisting your urge to be with someone that turns you on being yourself? Playing games at all with other people whether you're forcing yourself to be sexual to ensnare your partner or holding off and hoping that they won't get bored and move on is the best way to mess up your prospects for love. Some people are great liars, they make a living at it, most aren't. No matter how clever you are you can't love someone you lie to.