I'm 19 years old and was diagnosed as "ADD" four years ago. I do have attention problems, but I don't think I believe in the "disease" one bit. My intentions were to get prescribed adderall and to lose weight.
I was first prescribed concerta which made me really depressed and didn't do anything as far as attention span or weight loss went. A year later I switched to adderall xr and that's when my entire mess began. For at least a year, I heavily abused it, oftentimes taking 60mg a day or more. I lost a ton of weight, got amazing grades, and constantly accomplished things. I also began smoking tremendously more than I ever had (currently, I smoke a pack a day) and experiencing horrible withdraws.
I now only take 30 mg a day, but whenever I go without, I'm unbearably fatigued, hungry, and very "loopy". Because of this, I make it a point to NEVER go without.
I will occasionally drink a low carb monster energy drink to increase my speed, which only has made things worse.
Up until two months ago, my blood pressure has been fine; however, I went to the doctor twice now and my blood pressure has sky rocketed to 140/80. The first time, my doctor seemed unphased, but this time I saw a nurse and she seemed very concerned, urging me to talk with my doctor that day. I had other plans so I left.
I'm scared as hell. I hate this addiction, and I'm ready to get my life back to normal. Three distinct things prevent me from giving it up: the withdraws (which, from my experience, persist up to at least 3 weeks, since that's the longest ive gone without it), gaining weight, and failing out of college.
I made deans list last semester and I feel as if I could never keep that up without my adderall. I also dont want to face sleeping my life away because I stopped taking it.
I'm positive if I give it up I could easily give up smoking, as well.
Any suggestions, tips, similar experiences? I really need some motivation and words of advice.
Thanks ahead of time.