I'm 19 years old and was diagnosed as "ADD" four years ago. I do have attention problems, but I don't think I believe in the "disease" one bit. My intentions were to get prescribed adderall and to lose weight.
I was first prescribed concerta which made me really depressed and didn't do anything as far as attention span or weight loss went. A year later I switched to adderall xr and that's when my entire mess began. For at least a year, I heavily abused it, oftentimes taking 60mg a day or more. I lost a ton of weight, got amazing grades, and constantly accomplished things. I also began smoking tremendously more than I ever had (currently, I smoke a pack a day) and experiencing horrible withdraws.
I now only take 30 mg a day, but whenever I go without, I'm unbearably fatigued, hungry, and very "loopy". Because of this, I make it a point to NEVER go without.
I will occasionally drink a low carb monster energy drink to increase my speed, which only has made things worse.
Up until two months ago, my blood pressure has been fine; however, I went to the doctor twice now and my blood pressure has sky rocketed to 140/80. The first time, my doctor seemed unphased, but this time I saw a nurse and she seemed very concerned, urging me to talk with my doctor that day. I had other plans so I left.
I'm scared as hell. I hate this addiction, and I'm ready to get my life back to normal. Three distinct things prevent me from giving it up: the withdraws (which, from my experience, persist up to at least 3 weeks, since that's the longest ive gone without it), gaining weight, and failing out of college.
I made deans list last semester and I feel as if I could never keep that up without my adderall. I also dont want to face sleeping my life away because I stopped taking it.
I'm positive if I give it up I could easily give up smoking, as well.
Any suggestions, tips, similar experiences? I really need some motivation and words of advice.
Let me start out by saying you're not alone. I am a recovering adderall addict. I was never diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and I don't believe I ever had it, but I still found the medication.
I started taking adderall when I was 17 years old. I took it just to give me a boost and never felt an addiction towards it. When I started going to college is when it became a noticeable problem. I started abusing it for my classes. My grades were perfect and I felt on top of the world. It got to a point though where I would take over 60 mg a day just to feel a motivation to get out of bed. I hated the way I felt and looked. I had gotten down to 110 lbs at 5'9 and my face looked constantly tired. My friends told me that I had large bags under my eyes and I was smoking too many cigarettes (I too smoked more than a pack a day when before I never had a desire to smoke). I didn't know what to do I felt that no one could ever understand what I was going through. I was scared to see a doctor because I wasn't perscribed to it. I had times where I would run out of the medication and those days were hell. I wouldn't get out of bed and if I tried to do anything I felt like I wasn't there, I was a walking talking zombie.
3 months ago I found out I was pregnant. I got online and everywhere I looked told me that I couldn't take adderall for my babies sake. It took everything I had but I finally quit. It was a very bad experience for me but I knew my baby was more important than my own self addictions. I stayed in bed for 2 weeks. My fiance became worried about me so he did everything he could to get me to get out of bed (he thought it was pregnancy side affects. I never had to courage to tell him about my addiction) but even then I felt like I wasn't there and everything reminded me of adderall. The third week is when things started looking up. I started becoming normal again.
It has been about 3 months since I quit. Life will get better I promise you that. I can't say I am completely recovered though. I crave for the feeling every single day. It has caused me to be irritable and have no motivation at all. I decided to take the semester off for my grades sake. I don't think I'm safe from my addiction for the rest of my life.. maybe just until my baby is born. I wish to this day I would have never taken it.
Pray you have more inner motivation than me! You can stop and the withdrawals will go away. The best thing to do is quit slowely. Lower your doses until you're completely off (with your doctors supervision). I went cold turkey and I believe that's why it took such a tole on me. Good luck though! Your article made me feel like I had somebody that understood how I felt though thank you!
Just stop. Don't even fill your prescription anymore. I was on it for a few years and honestly thought that I couldn't function without the stuff. I think cold turkey is the best way to go but you are going to feel pretty awful for awhile.
Just know that if you don't stop it's really going to take a toll on you mentally and physically.