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Adderall addiction recovery

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I am 21 and a student in a creative field. Hours are dreadful. sometime having to stay awake for days at a time to get a project done. When I was introduced to adderall 2 years ago I was thrilled. It at first gave me energy and ambition that I often couldn't find after weeks of sleep deprivation. I took it at first only for projects. Then school got easier, but I took more. I can barely get out of bed without taking it now, and take it every day, all day. I have always been an athlete, and found I could run longer and harder when I first started taking it. I now can't run more than two miles without stopping. My chest hurts all the time, I have headaches every day. I have struggled with depression for 6 years, but it is becoming so much worse. My doctor, parents, and friends are very worried about my emotional state, but I cannot tell them why its gone so downhill. I have always been successful, a straight - A student, and an amazing runner. I can't run and it's killing me. My biggest fear is weight gain. I am only 110 lbs but have struggled with body image for about five years, and simply CAN NOT gain weight or I become severely depressed. I haven't told anyone Ive been doing this and need advice on how to kick it myself, because thats the only way I'm doing it. With all my personal insecurities, I cannot have others in my life thinking any less of me or worrying any more. I need a way to stay energized. I only have around 5-6hrs to sleep a night. Im terrified I'm about to loose it all. I come home and cry every night as I'm crashing, take a sleeping pill, pass out and do it again. I need advice badly!
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First Helper DannyFairfax28
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replied February 4th, 2010
Hardcore
It is an extremely difficult drug to combat. I am about a month clear of a SEVERE addiction to Shire pharmaceutical's flagship dextroamphetamine aka the 30mg champ, aka the zaptown hero, aka adderall. It is a drug that ran my life, took my career, took my amazing family to the brink of giving up on their oldest son, big brother and first born grandson. It is the drug because of which I know face 2 felony counts for trying to acquire it via fraudulent means. It is a drug that at this point has made me realize that I must choose between it or reality - because living on adderall is not reality.

I took 500 mg or more a day. That means a 90 pill prescription of 20mg tablets gone in less than 96 hours. Then what? Back to a fresh CVS or Safeway to go get more. I am well educated, was successful and come from a loving and very well to do family. By 25 I was a stud broker at a big investment firm, living independently and busy living the life as a bachelor. Where am I today? I am 28, unemployed, living at home, facing 2 felonies, broke, car in the impound, hanging onto my family's trust by a thread and haven't had a meaningful encounter with anything except my left hand in 5 months. Oh, and I'm turning myself in to jail next Friday so I can spend 5 days in the sin bin for one of my other infractions - a 2nd driving on suspended offense resulting from what should have been my second DUI if it wasn't for a 100mg adderall boost that kicked in as I did my best Johnny Cash and walked the line for Johnny Law. BUT....

I am back. I stopped adderall the day after I got caught. I hadn't slept for 4 days and after being released on my own recognizance and an all night binge, I had a very intense "conversation" with my parents the next day. I had ingested close to 700 mg in the previous 24 hours so I was delirious and out of my mind when talking to them. Bad combination. They confronted me about my personality change, weight (40 pounds off my once buff physique) and general absence from family life. I ordered pizza, took another 80mg and then fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. That was 27 days ago...

I guess you could say I "inadvertantly went cold turkey". I had run out and was so tired that I slept for about 3 days straight. The next week I could barely get up, had chills, anxiety and only moved to eat and use a bathroom. The week after that was filled with resentment and loneliness as well as the beginnings of my sexual drive, energy and normal personality beginning to emerge. The week after that I turned my phone on, went for walks, worked on the computer and connected with my family and began to lose the extreme physical urge to pop pills. And this week I am slowly beginning to think rationally and clearly about the direction in which to take my life. I am not depressed although sometimes sad - but I deserve that. I fear a return to the drug since my love affair with stimulants precedes my affection for the orange pills by close to a decade. But I am content.....

My family's trust is re-emerging, my friends are telling me they can talk to me at a normal non-frenetic pace and I am likely to resolve my legal problems with success and have worked hard with my attorney's help to do so. I am laughing again. I see light at the end of the tunnel and HONESTLY believe that I don't need to have this toxic stimulant in my life. I want it sometimes, but it simply can't be an option. It can't be an option....

So my advice? Suck it up and take the Morgan Sporlock-esque 30 day challenge. If I can do it. You can do it. And I am telling you that you will barely recognize yourself as the positive changes come back. I am excited to continue a clean life...FOR NOW. I hope it is possible for you...
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replied October 25th, 2010
My name is Brandon I am 18 years old and I have been an adderall addict for nearly three years. No one else i know or have ever met understands the feeling of being addicted to adderall, so i find comfort in hearing about others like me. Since the day i took my first adderall pill i have not gone for more than three weeks without it. I am not prescribed.. i simply buy it off the street with great ease. I have never taken adderall to do school work, only for recreational purposes. I take it every weekend and consume an average of about 5000 mg from friday-sunday. I find myself stealing money to buy adderall. I have many personality changes including anti-socialism, and strange sexual fetishes. Every weekend I do not make plans, first i make sure i can find adderall. I do not think about doing anything social unless i am already on adderall. I am beginning to scare myself because i have developed restlessness and extreme aggression. Every time i come down from adderall i tell myself i need to quit, but by the next weekend i am eager as ever to get a huge bag of adderall or vyvanse. It has got to the point where I do not even know how many i pop anymore. No matter the bag size (I have bought bags of over 10,000 mg) they will be gone by the end of the weekend. Without it i feel as though i have no drive to do anything, i still do things during the week, but i dread doing them. I miss being able to have fun without the evil pills. Since I started using adderall i have tried many other drugs due to the fact that i feel like nothing can hurt me when im on adderall. Over the summer i overdosed on cocaine and xanax.. while on adderall. That was a real eye opener for me. I devoted myself to quitting, weeks went by and i could not leave my couch, except to eat. I would not respond to texts or phone calls, check my email, or even talk to my family. 3 weeks went by and i started using again. I now currently take adderall every weekend again and do not sleep friday-sunday. I feel as though i am a slave to the drug. numerous times i have experienced psychosis and what i believe to be signs of tourettes syndrome. I do not believe that rehab will help because people who have not been truly addicted to adderall could never understand. If anyone reads this and understands, please... please help me. I am running out of options and fear I will never be normal again if i dont quit soon.
thank you
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replied August 26th, 2011
You will quit. and you will live. you have no other choice. think of your parents for gods sake. you can do it
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replied December 30th, 2011
rehab will help you- it is probably the only thing that will. It will give you the tools and resources you NEED to kick this habit. Dont let it progress,
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replied May 9th, 2012
Recovering Adderal/Speed Addict
Hey! I am a recovering adderal addict. And first and foremost the fact that you have the desire to quit is so great! You are so right, people who have not been chemically or psychologically dependent on adderall just cant and dont understand. I started taking amphetamenes when I was 9 and just quit and now I am almost 22. So I know what you are going through. I couldn't get out of bed if I hadnt taken at least 120mg adderall. Then on the weekends I would take that and more + energy shots + smoke weed etc do drugs whatever. I could write a novel on here but I don't really have the time right now if you would like my email please let me know and I will be more than happy to talk to you or anyone else going through this for that matter. it makes me so sad to see others go through pretty much exactly what I went through. But I have many little tips and tricks that help me cut the bad habit and completely change my life around for the better.
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replied May 11th, 2011
Am I an addict to dextroamphetamine ?
How do I know if I am a dextroamphetamine addict? It's the main ingredient in Aderall. How do I know if I am an addict?
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