I am 21 and a student in a creative field. Hours are dreadful. sometime having to stay awake for days at a time to get a project done. When I was introduced to adderall 2 years ago I was thrilled. It at first gave me energy and ambition that I often couldn't find after weeks of sleep deprivation. I took it at first only for projects. Then school got easier, but I took more. I can barely get out of bed without taking it now, and take it every day, all day. I have always been an athlete, and found I could run longer and harder when I first started taking it. I now can't run more than two miles without stopping. My chest hurts all the time, I have headaches every day. I have struggled with depression for 6 years, but it is becoming so much worse. My doctor, parents, and friends are very worried about my emotional state, but I cannot tell them why its gone so downhill. I have always been successful, a straight - A student, and an amazing runner. I can't run and it's killing me. My biggest fear is weight gain. I am only 110 lbs but have struggled with body image for about five years, and simply CAN NOT gain weight or I become severely depressed. I haven't told anyone Ive been doing this and need advice on how to kick it myself, because thats the only way I'm doing it. With all my personal insecurities, I cannot have others in my life thinking any less of me or worrying any more. I need a way to stay energized. I only have around 5-6hrs to sleep a night. Im terrified I'm about to loose it all. I come home and cry every night as I'm crashing, take a sleeping pill, pass out and do it again. I need advice badly!