I have been taking Adderall, recreationally, for around 9 months. I don't have a perscription, but it is everywhere and so easy to buy I have a constant supply. I started using Adderall on rare occasions probably once or twice in a month. That slowly changed to once or twice every two weeks. Then I started wanting it more and more often. Currently I take them at least 2 or 3 times a week, every week. I don't have to take it every day, I force myself to take short breaks. But those days I just want to be high, and I don't have any motivation, i'm apathetic, and anti-social. I feel like if I completely quit taking them, it would be pretty boring and depressing.
I have to take 125 mg to 150 mg to feel the high, three times what I was taking a few months ago. I always get really sick when I come-down and regret taking them completely, but the next time I get some I think it will be worth it.
I think of addiction meaning you have to take them every single day, and you can't stop even if you want to. My problem is I really just don't want to stop yet.
I "quit" all the time, and say that i'm done for a long time. Then at some point I always think that I might as well buy some again. Could I be psychologically dependent on it?