U say U read all these HIV posts yet you still say doomed..pure doomed.I think U may want to read them again.No one here has said doomed or dead or anything like that.Hope and wellness and taking care of the situation is what we spout,not doom or anything remotely like that..

I never said anything about dead. I also never said I read ALL the posts on this forum. Quite the contrary. I said I read some of the posts.

wow, you are quite confrontational much like my suspicious friend.

And yeah, I feel an overwhelming sense of doom. I can't help it. If I felt healthy and well I wouldnt be thinking about posting here, not that I dont care but it would have been out of sight out of mind. (Did you read the part about really sick?) If help and wellness are what your about then I am not seeing it from you.

Yea, knowing how to get through the next 3 months would help alleviate this doomed feeling. And I never said anything about dead or read all the posts. But after reading more makes me wonder why you didnt scold more people when they brought up their fears.

I hear ya,bro.I am a 80's kid as well..I am 49 now. I took doom as meaning dead...sorry
Talking to him is gonna be a pain if he is in denial.
I remember when I used to call HIV/AIDS the "ick" and never thought it would happen to me.I got on meth and got very promiscuous and BOOM! I got AIDS.I have had to work really hard at wrapping my mind around it.I have had to work hard at eliminating the guilt cuz I knew better.I survived all my friends dying and didn't get infected and after all that I did stupid crap and got it.I have to live with that.It was my fault,no one elses. So I deal with it as best i can.I am up to 457 T cells from a low of 25 when I first found out.I was so sick I couldn't walk,couldn't hold down food...I was almost dead. After getting on meds and starting to feel better,I started to exercise and walk and eat and rest and quit all the stupid crap that got me to where I was.I am 100% sure that now I will live as long as any one else and I will be as healthy.I actually feel damn good 90% of the time.
The only way to get threw the next 3 months is to keep busy and stay positive and motivated.No matter what the results of the HIV test are,you have to be the leader of the pack.Its your body and mind and soul.Only you can control them.Be assertive and safe.Think good healing thoughts,accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.
As for Mister Suspect...its going to more than likely upset him no matter how you approach him with this issue. You guys can either be real or play games.If you are real and he wont be then there isn't much you can do about that.Look out for #1 if he refuses to accept the truth.
Keep me posted.Good luck to you and don't let anything or any one get you down or stop you from doing the right thing.

Homer

ARGH! I was so disappointed at you! LOL. much better now after refreshing my browser. Sorry about editing in the 'scolding' part but yea I came on as doom and gloom and then I re-edited second post to have no nice parts. if you could cut me a break and just realize im freakin out.

Argh... so basically it does smack of Acute Viral HIV right? Minus the rash part? I don't know...

sounds like a lot of people get colds and flus after messing around because thats, well, natural right? I mean transfer of all that crap.

The doom I feel is from being alone in this situation not from death. I hardly fear death (which can become unfortunate as my behavior can sometimes display) The doom I feel is from letting others down. Or not feeling like I lived up to my potential somehow, but thats probably couch crap. which doesnt work for me either because I now a couch counselor and i think they are crap. again hope my honest tone doesnt offend couch counselors.

I need to make a list of things to do before i get results.

1.stop partying like its 1999. Its 2009 right?
2.excersize
3.dont have sex
4.dont curl up in a ball in the closet and feel sorry for myself. ?
5.stop googlin strep throat, hiv every 10 minutes

sigh... anything you think I should add?

I think you have all the basses covered.I like your frank and real honest way of talking.I wish more people would lay it all on the line like you do.

Don't over GOOGLE this issue.It will drive you nuts!

There is no way of knowing until you get tested. You know,I bet you are not HIV .Just a feeling. I have a feeling you dodged the bullet. I don't know why but I think you aren't HIV ...if it will make you feel better,go to the free clinic or your doc and tell them to test you now.There is a quick test that some people have faith in while others don't.I personally like the 3 month blood test but to each there own. Either way,don't fret and don't stress and don't freak...originally I had a mouth swab test. Then a blood test just to be sure.Its your life...own it.