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Q: Abusive boyfriend

asked by: blank7 on January 26th, 2009

New User

Hi, I've been in a relationship on and off for the past 6 years.. I've never thought about getting help because of what he might do or think.. I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19 and has had a rough childhood... He's broken my nose, shattered my jaw, spit in my face, punched me, slapped me, kicked me in the stomach.. and basically anything else you can think of.. No matter how hard I try to get away from him he always works himself back into my life.. I feel like no matter what I do to make him happy and maybe make him change is never good enough.. As stupid as this sounds, I don't even want to be with him.. and I know this will sound even stupider but it almost feels like an addiction.. I know most drug addict hate the drug they are addicted to, and I feel like it's the same concept.. Everytime I anwser his call I beat myself up about it.. I'm not even happy when he is around me.. I just need any help I can get on understanding why I feel this way.. Someone please help.. Thanks..

Replies(3)

zigemyster

replied on January 26th, 2009

Supporter

6 years is a long time and he knows what to do to you and your reaction to his abuse and each time you take him back no matter what he has done to you.

You need to leave him and never look back. He will never change and having a terrible childhood gives him no excuse to attack you. It will only get worse, not better.

Do NOT tell you boyfriend what you are doing: Locate a womans abuse shelter / support group (ask the police dept and they can get you in contact with them). They will guide you to what you need to do and how to do it and they will help you. Never feel like you are alone as you are not.

Have you received medical treatment for any of your abuse?

ServiceU

replied on April 27th, 2009

Supporter

do you live with him? if not stop calling him, dont accept his calls, stay away from him.
my ex father was abusive,& it became learned behavior. i carry mental batter scares from that relationship, please get out. i dont want him to destroy your spirit. you probably feel like you dont want to be alone, you want something, anything. your young and sometimes your finding yourself. your in control of your destiny..take change

kristenitsme

replied on May 5th, 2009

New User

Aww nothing is stupid. Trust me i was with my ex boyfriend for four years he had a rough childhood as well. Needless to say he was the same way ur boyfriend is. It will only get worse. I was EXACTLY like you and if you dont get out now you will end up in a very bad situation. I actually went to leave my bf that night he heard me on the phone he almost killed me. Then he was arrested and what not and yet again sucked me back in makin me think he changed well he didnt. The county would not drop the chrages and i was forced to testify against him he got four years out of it. I think you stay with him because he makes you feel bad and the good times you have are good. Its all in ur head hun. You just need to take a stand and trust me it will be the HARDEST thing you ever do. But there is guys out there that would treat you like you should be treated. To this day its been five years later and still live with all that emontional crap he put me through. Good luck! Just be strong!!

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