I didn't realize how abused in 14years untill I found out he been having an affair 18months ago.Then he accelerated his abuse......I'm wondering if ive had a breakdown i.e life out of control,feel like my personality has been stripped away,have stopped functional to the point I cannot work,socialize or even venture out my front door without panic! Cant do a thing!!

Cant think of the future like this,cant understand a simple movie,article.I dont present well anymore.The change is obvious to people i know and strangers think I'm not right!

I cant go on anymore like this and cant leave cause he has hidden our money and fear if i even took a stick of furniture he would come after me!!

I'm destroying myself as im so angry and taking on all the insults and put downs till ive become it aswell!!

He walks around like a king and I've built him to something he'd never have or be and he's got some sick pleasue out of destroying me.he is 13years older and all my 20's and 30's have been lost to building him(thinking its for us)and feel ill never be attractive or successful as im too old now,thats if i ever come out of this.....ive been like ths since the affair...he still denys and still see's her.He makes me feel invalid..like i dont exist....when we meet i had so much going for me,I was bubbly,alive,attractive!I loved him...god damm it!!!!
Please i need urgent help,have been to doctors and get offered drugs!!