My friend suggested that I try out a forum because I cannot get over some issues from my last relationship. I was with a guy for a year before he got me pregnant. We started having problems earlier in the year, he was very abusive and controlling. He would degrade me and put me down just for his own entertainment. When I had gotten pregnant, he didnt want it. The abuse started on a daily basis and one day he had threw me up on a bench and put my head through his bedroom door. After this happened, i decided it was enough, so i left. I had ran into him out in public a week later and he tried attacking me. I called the cops the next morning. After the cops took all the info and after receiving a picture of him for identification, they informed me that his neighbors had reported the abuse from the previous week, but by the time they got to his house, i had already left. A restraining order was filed, and granted at the end of 2006. I had lost the baby, but we ended up getting back together. He would say things like "I didnt know what I had til I lost it". Because of all the strain and stress he had put me and my family through, our relationship was kept on the downlow for another 2 years. And instead of physical abuse, it had turned emotional. I have tried moving on, I have even gone months not talking to him. In the beginning of 2008 I told myself i was going to move on, so I did..I didnt talk to him for 5 months. I found out he was seeing someone and it crushed me. I figured it was my instinct to get him back. So i did. I had just assumed he stopped seeing her. Boy, was i wrong. In Oct 2008, I decided i needed a new Number so he couldnt get ahold of me because I couldnt continue this sick toxic relationship. Turned out, he was still seeing her. They are still together. I also found out he was cheating on me since the day we got together, he has slept around many many times behind my back. I do not want him back, I have so much anger. Some Months, weeks, days are completely normal, then others, like tonight, I was full on anxiety attacks and tears that could fill a water jug. I need Help!