iam married w/o children,
ok hes abusive verbally+pysical
and he thinks hes not!
he feels like hes doin wat he has to do to
keep me quiet wen i yell,but i dont think
knockin me upside my head over and over
agian with his fingers(really hard) is the
way,he treatens my life everytime we fight
and when i have aproblem with the
realationship itll never get herd! and
fixed most of all.Wen he feels like he is
in a corner hill put his hands on me.I
dont know wat to do,im married and i love
him,it dosent seem like hes sorry! though
he says hes sorry after and sometimes cry
and gose into depression!he did go to iraq
too for a couple of months but i dont
deserve to be treated like this yet im
still in this realationship supporting him
in and out and treatinghim like a king,hes
gental sometime yet when times get hard
its when he dosent love me.(he said that
too)we are married i believe in a healthly
realationship and he dosent seem to admit
his faults,instead he blames me all the
time!
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Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 473 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 119
Thanked:142
online
Posted: 04-21-08 08:49am
Sorry, but I disagree. I don’t think
this is a healthy relationship at all. He
is verbally and physically abusing you!
As far as your quarrels go, try and stay
calm. Yelling only aggravates him, so just
don’t do it. I don’t normally advise
people to get a divorce, but your husband
is threatening to kill you! It might be a
very wise choice to leave him as soon as
possible.
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evalii
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 25 Location: na, na
Posted: 04-23-08 23:16pm
thanks,yeah i know it isnot healthy but we
both push eachothers buttons and it get to
that point sometimes,i do have a habbit of
pushing and nagging when iam angree and i
should stop and when i do do that it
dosent happen at all.he has PTSD from
being in the military as well,iam a very
forgiving person and understanding
too,even though its not right and i do
talk to him about it and he agree with
that,we do get along better then most and
we have the same things/hobbies,but when
we argue i get naggy and he shuts down,he
walks away and i follow,its bad i know,its
both of us! but we are workin on
it,everyday yet i still find it hard to
not follow him and nag about my issues,im
not askin for advice,its just i want to
get this off my chest,i dont mean to
bother no one or get attention even though
its on a forum,i just wanted to share my
expirences
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Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 473 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 119
Thanked:142
online
Posted: 04-28-08 01:05am
Okay, seeing that you basically just
wanted to vent, I hoped it helped.
And if it did, I want to give you a little
piece of advice anyway. If it helped to
put it in writing you might want to
consider writing down everything that
bothers you in your marriage in a letter
to your husband.
That way you can tell him that you love
him, you are committed to him and you know
that he is going through a tough time, but
that there is a couple of things that you
would like him to do/ not do.
That way you don’t get into an argument,
you don’t start nagging or yelling, and
he doesn’t have to ‘shut down’, and
he won’t get aggressive. Reread your
letter before you give it to him, and make
sure that you are attack the problem, and
not your husband. If you come across as
being nasty, you can throw the letter
away, and start again. It is easier this
way, because spoken words can never be
taken back whereas a letter can be
rewritten.
