Okay, seeing that you basically just wanted to vent, I hoped it helped.
And if it did, I want to give you a little piece of advice anyway. If it helped to put it in writing you might want to consider writing down everything that bothers you in your marriage in a letter to your husband.
That way you can tell him that you love him, you are committed to him and you know that he is going through a tough time, but that there is a couple of things that you would like him to do/ not do.
That way you don’t get into an argument, you don’t start nagging or yelling, and he doesn’t have to ‘shut down’, and he won’t get aggressive. Reread your letter before you give it to him, and make sure that you are attack the problem, and not your husband. If you come across as being nasty, you can throw the letter away, and start again. It is easier this way, because spoken words can never be taken back whereas a letter can be rewritten.
Good luck!