I have never had an abortion but have become unintentionally pregnant and I also battle chronic depression. I didn't have an abortion because of the very thing you are scared of: regret. I don't know how religious you are, I am and prayed for an answer. I got my answer when I passed a church board that read "Regret looks back, Faith looks up". I have never regretted my decision and have never looked back in regret. Good luck and hope (and pray) you find your answers.

hello
it's so random that i found this question.

yes i did have an abortion at 6 weeks. it was extremely hard and the worst decision i have ever made. i know i feel that way bc the dad and i really wanted our baby. we are still together and it was a diff. situation i guess.

it's personal for everyone..but the depression i have been struggling with since is just not worth it. i feel so dark and worthless. i hate it. i know this would not be the case if i would have had my baby. i hope you can make the decision that is right for u..but if you are even having ANY doubts..please..don't do it bc i guarantee you will regret it.

i feel extreme guilt every day..it's killed my self esteem and i forget what it's like to be happy. i am going to the doc for anti-depressants and hope that they help and i can move forward, pray, and forgive myself. i know God forgives me..but i still hate myself and cry as i type this because it was such a terrible experience i still look it up on the internet almost everyday. it has definitely scarred me beyond belief. it will shatter you from the soul within. sorry to be blunt.

I am sorry you are in such pain and grief. No one deserves to live in pain. Please take a look at this site. I have heard they do wonderful work helping women who regret their abortions. Good luck.
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/

I had an abortion and it was fine. We weren't in the position we wanted to be when we fell pregnant (despite using bc perfectly - like you were were also in that unlucky % for whom it fails despite best efforts). It was fine, we were sure of the decision before hand and neither dh nor I have ever felt any regret over having a termination - it was the right/responsible decision for us.

You have to do what you feel is right though, this isn't a decision that can be made by others and only you really know what that is. Good luck whatever you decide

Would you rather regret having an abortion, or regret not having one?

Pafoschick, I think I am a little bit bias. I have been through one and most people that I know struggle with it and are very depressed. Bless the ones that are not. They deserve the right to choose and live a healthy productive life. But most of the ones that are not struggling with it were just 100% sure about their decision and VERY adamant that they wanted one. Then I know some who were 40000% sure and are a complete mess now.

My friends all told me to take the chance and have my baby. They told me they had one and regret it soooo much. I just thought, I cannot put my baby at risk, since there was a slight chance of medical risk..but now I feel silly..it was low..next to nothing..I rather have given my baby a chance at life.

For me, an abortion was such an unnatural and disgusting thing for me to go through mentally, phsysically, and spiritually. I rather have had my leg amputated. It would be a thousand times easier than what I went thru. I think about my abortion at least 10 times a day. Again, I may be different..but I struggle with depression like you..and an abortion nearly made me suicidal again. Guilt is something that there is NO prescription for. There ARE prescriptions for depression that you can help. Guilt is a part of your spirit forever.

i say this woman to woman because i would never ever ever wish another woman the pain i am going thru. it's up to you, but i wish some women wouldn't act like it's no big thing and encourage you to go thru with one. abortion should be something someone avoids at all costs necessary. it is truly more harmful than helpful. im sorry..i will not sit here and mislead you..and i feel you may thank me for it later in your life. i don't know anyone who regrets not having an abortion they were originally supposed to have. i cannot say the same about women who had an abortion. some don't regret it..but that does not make it easy to deal with..most are depressed from what i know...yes, there are ones that are not..and again..bless them.

I know several women who have had an abortion, not one of them feels regret or depressed about it. While I understand this does happen (and I do sympathise with those who do struggle) I would tend to believe that most people who are sure in their decision recover quickly from it. I knew I would have been depressed had I carried a child to term that, quite frankly, I did not want and was not in any position to raise in the way I wish to raise my children.

That said, you do have to be sure it's best for YOU.

Someone who is depressed/depressive may latch onto the abortion for a reason for their depression.

In making your decision, perhaps you can seek out children whose parents were depressives -- see how it affected them.

If your depression requires medication (or self-medication), consider the implications of pregnancy and then being responsible for a child.

She should have no problem finding someone who is pregnant and being treated or has been treated for depression since over 1/2 the population seems to be on some sort of antidepressant. Pretty common med these days. These parents successful go through pregnancy and raise children. Are you implying that all pregnant women with the diagnosis of chronic depression shouldn't raise children?

If you're suffering from emotional or mental disorder, you should speak with a professional about it. You might find a kindred spirit in someone with similar problems but you'd be serving your interests better by seeking help from a trained, certified individual.

Most women's health clinics offer counseling referrals, regardless of what route the patient chooses. I suggest you start there and talk to someone before making your decision. You need to speak to an unbiased, certified individual who will listen to your concerns and help you arrive at YOUR OWN decision, without pressure or judgment.

Good luck to you.

Not all, but definitely many shouldn't. Chronic depression does not go very well with being an effective parent. This is why I suggested asking someone whose parent was a chronic depressive experienced their childhoods. Someone whose parent committed suicide. Someone whose parent was an alcoholic due to trying to deal with chronic depression. Someone whose parent simply couldn't cope with having to always consider someone else's needs before their own.

Very good ideas and suggestions!

I would guess about 99% of parents who have chronic depression do not fit your discription especially if they are medicated. Many diabetics shouldn't have children because a few collapsed in front of their kids or what about epileptics or maybe we should talk to children of blind or deaf parents. How about children of parents with ADHD? Come on, you are making a mountian out of a molehill and if we started generalizing about the fitness of parents because of medical diagnosises, there would be no children.
My grandpa was a severe alcoholic and was abusive to my father. My father is not an alcoholic and was/is a wonderful parent to his 7 kids. Should he have been aborted because his father was an abusive alcoholic?