Medical Abortion Forum - Abortion and history of medical depression

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Q: Abortion and history of medical depression

asked by: Rasha on June 26th, 2009

New User

I am currently 23 years old. I am the mother of 2 beautiful children aged 5 and 3. I am currently approximately 8 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend who I have only been with for 5 months was happy the moment we found out but then by that evening was opting for abortion. He says he needs to convince me to have an abortion for the best of the children I have now. He is 25 years old and a baby does not fit into his life "plan" until he is 30. I am christian and I attend church. I am feeling guilty for having sex in the first place and am afraid of what some might think of me if i have a third child with a man not the same father as my other 2.I was on the pill to prevent pregnancy and that is another arguement that my boyfriend keeps using. But i have already fallen in love with this baby and accepted the fact i might be a single mother of 3. I have alot of people supporting me to make my own decision.. everybody but he who matters most to me. He has become very sad thinking that i might keep the baby...and i want to make him happy but all I do is cry thinking about killing the baby.I have a history of medical depression and I have seen what abortion has done to 2 of my friends. one of them turned to drugs and lost her 3 children after and one of them in on prozac and sleeping pills.I am so scared of getting it done. I feel so stuck and torn. please any advice is welcomed.. help.

Replies(6)

ChicagoIsHome

replied on July 3rd, 2009

New User

Abortion-make your own decision

While I have no children your story hit a little to close to home. This past year I was dating a guy for 5 months (like you) and we found out we were pregnant. At first he was really calm and said we would figure something out. Whatever that means?!? Both of us are Catholic and I was very Pro-life. We are both 27 which obviously isnt too young for a child but I quickly noticed him change and start talking about not being ready to be a dad. He convinced me that I was not ready to be a mother and we had a medical abortion. The first day I was numb, the second day I cried my eyes out. Like you I have a history of depression and was worried about the mental condition I would be in after it. For the first few months I was totally fine but then I started thinking more about it and questioning my decision. I am a smart girl (masters degree and all) and super independent yet I ALLOWED A MAN to make a decision for me. The abortion was in Feb. and now I regret it and resent him. I cant tell you what to do but I can suggest that you follow your heart. I think about it every day and I promise you he does not. He wouldnt even tell his parents when we found out we were pregnant and we are 27! I have to live with this decision and I am increasingly becoming more and more depressed..the pills arent helping anymore.

Users who thank ChicagoIsHome for this post: Rasha

bogandquagmire

replied on July 8th, 2009

New User

If you love this baby already, and you know that you are perfectly capable of caring for the children you already have, then there is no reason that you should let a man who walked into your life 5 months ago make such a profound decision for you. I had an abortion 2 weeks ago, and the father was the man I have been on and off with for 5 years. I've always seen him as a part of my future, and if we were going to have a baby, I wanted to do it with him. So, I based my decision (with his input) on the fact that we were not ready to be parents... what I didn't realize until now is that I was ready to be a parent, even if it meant that he wouldn't be doing it with me, and now it's too late. If I hadn't factored his feelings into my decision, then I wouldn't have had an abortion... and I can't begin to describe to you the range of emotions I've felt because of it. It all happened very quickly, but I know that it will always be on my mind. If you want the baby, and you're not just wanting to have it to avoid any guilt you may feel over an abortion, then have the baby. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your decision. Good luck.

Users who thank bogandquagmire for this post: Rasha

wendyrs

replied on July 8th, 2009

Supporter

Rasha, Follow your heart. This is your decision and if you know that you have already begun to love this child then know that you have probably already made your decision. Don't abord your baby just because he isn't ready. You're the child's mother, you're there to protect your child, and you seem quite capable of raising this baby that you already love. Don't let him talk you into something that will cause you pain and resentment towards him later on.

Users who thank wendyrs for this post: Rasha

worriedauzzi

replied on July 8th, 2009

Experienced User

I'm also in a similar prediciment. I've been with my partner for many years. I fell pregnant at 18 but he convinced me we were far too young for children and I had an abortion which I regretted and then when I was 20 I fell pregnant again (whilst on the pill) so I didn't find out I was pregnant until it was too late to have an abortion (thank god). I didn't get over my first abortion until I saw my baby girl. Now I am 22 and have fallen pregnant AGAIN (this time after having a morning after pill because I was sick and missed 2 days of my pill) ... I'm very fertile. And now once again he is saying we can't keep it and he can't have another just yet and is forcing me to get an abortion next week. I don't want an abortion but at the same time he'l leave if I keep it and I cannot raise two alone.

Users who thank worriedauzzi for this post: Rasha

Rasha

replied on July 9th, 2009

New User

Thank you everybody for your advice and kind words. I had an appointment with the surgeon who would be performing the surgery. I am having a hard time saying what i need to say to my boyfriend. its all so painful but truthfully I would rather lose him and keep my baby then have him and not.. so I need to just say what I need to say. Its going to be hard but I read a book somewhere along the way that told me life was never meant to be a struggle. everybody is capable of doing the "impossible" with the right attitude. I hope everybody on this forum who reads this will listen to their own advice in the future and follow your heart. Cheers

wendyrs

replied on July 9th, 2009

Supporter

I say choose your child over the boyfriend. Personally, I think if he really cared for you he wouldn't be making you get an abortion.

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