I have recently broke up with my fiance. We were together for just over a year in which time we had some terrible situations. Never before has my anger boiled over the way it has with my recent partner and I am looking to do something about it.
I have told white lies which often resulted in what I believed to be over reactions. That however, lead to games which would then generate anger and abuse. I have, ashamedly, been abusive in both physical and mental ways....pushing, fighting, calling names. These were when I was at my most angry. Essentially they stemmed from me feeling threatened due to the games which were played as a result of my ex feeling led to. The way I approached the situations were terrible. I crossed the line from being emotional to abusive when my anger took over and lead me down the irrational route.
I am seeking advice on what can be done by seeing an anger management counsellor. I have not been abusive like this before....it is purely down to one type of fear which results in the abusive behaviour.
Other than seeking advice through anger management, is there anything else that people can recommend.
I would like to think, and I believe, that the anger side of things stems from stress. When stressed there are ways to keep the srress under control.....obviously I have not managed to do so which has resulted in my actions.
I would love some ideas on any other types of help.
I would also add that in some of the arguments, when I have been abusive, children were in the house. Obviously this is not ideal and hopefully gives a sign as to how out of control I had become. Anger is a bad thing when control has been lost...so it really is control of this emotion that I am seeking help on.
I feel sorry for your position Marklfc, although I feel more sorrow for those poor children. May I suggest you complete the course you mentioned before involving yourselfvin their lives again. Stay with friends or parents while you overcome your demons. This type of problem takes time and it would be wrong to force yourself upon both your ex fianc and your children until are confident you can take a whole new approach to problematic situations. Sounds to me like she tried to work it out but for her own sanity had to break it off, try to understand how she must be feeling. I've been there and it us not a place I would wish to visit again, extreme anxiety constantly and waiting for the 'next time'.