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asked by: deteragram on March 27th, 2009
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I agree that you can't live with regret. It's not as if you can undo it or anything. I haven't been married but I know people would be shocked to know about my wild past (promiscuity, swinging, threesomes...) But that's just what it is. My past. It has helped to make me the person that I am today so I can't really regret it. When I think about some of the unsafe situations I put myself in, I get a little chill and thank God that, even in my worst moments, He protected me. But I don't beat myself up about it.
Hey, I was so naive that I didn't even realize how badly things could have ended and I enjoyed myself! lol
Any man I marry will be wed to all of me and all that has made me the woman I am: my past , present and future. Just as I will marry all of him, who he is and who he has been. So, there is no guilt, shame or regret for me.
Thanks for opening up a dioalogue on the subject, Caroline. I'm sure a lot of women would like to get some things off their chests.
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Rosie H
replied on March 27th, 2009
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The shame and regret along w/guilt are like poison to me right now. Even though my hubby and I are going on our 4th year I am just now becoming a whole woman ready for marriage. Its been a rough road for him. I of course was oblivious and allowed my faults run the relationship. My past haunting us at every turn. It took him leaving me to finally crawl out of that darkness. Now Im at the forgiveness part. Forgiving myself and those people that I feel harmed me, causing me to be afriad and week.

I need to forgive myself. Im getting there. God is with me and helping me.
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JavaMissus
replied on March 27th, 2009
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deteragram wrote:
I agree that you can't live with regret. It's not as if you can undo it or anything. I haven't been married but I know people would be shocked to know about my wild past (promiscuity, swinging, threesomes...) But that's just what it is. My past. It has helped to make me the person that I am today so I can't really regret it. When I think about some of the unsafe situations I put myself in, I get a little chill and thank God that, even in my worst moments, He protected me. But I don't beat myself up about it.
Hey, I was so naive that I didn't even realize how badly things could have ended and I enjoyed myself! lol
Any man I marry will be wed to all of me and all that has made me the woman I am: my past , present and future. Just as I will marry all of him, who he is and who he has been. So, there is no guilt, shame or regret for me.
Thanks for opening up a dioalogue on the subject, Caroline. I'm sure a lot of women would like to get some things off their chests.


Hi deteragram: I don't know if I want to get it off my chest as it still bothers me...I wonder why after so many years this still haunts me, even though I know that I have helped women by speaking of it...Maybe waiting for the boom to fall on my head?...Maybe because I won't look like Mrs. Perfect?...Nay, can't be that...Everyone already knows that I have a wild side...Or maybe it is bringing up this yesterday of long ago that still seems like yesterday....Now if you can figure out that last sentence you have won the lottery....

Caroline
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Cheley47
replied on March 27th, 2009
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Caroline
Wow, So well said, You Go Girl!!
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Cheley47
replied on March 28th, 2009
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Caroline
As you should... I think there are alot of women out there like you, including me, and I respect your honesty. Can't wait until your next post, Cheley47
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OlderWoman
replied on March 28th, 2009
New User
Caroline thanks so much for opening this discussion. I think it will help a lot of women who are feeling guilty for things that happened long ago. You are so right about it seeming like yesterday. No matter if it is something that we did or something that our man did, it always seems like yesterday to the woman. Keep telling it like it is and sharing your life experience with us.
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deteragram
replied on March 28th, 2009
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I'm glad you felt open enough here to finally speak about that time in your life. Sometimes just sharing a secret with another person can be cathartic. I know that is the case with me.
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Cheley47
replied on March 29th, 2009
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Caroline
I do believe that as we get older we get wiser, your story has made me feel better about my own affair years ago, although I must say I was married and so was he. I won't go into all of it now, but it took me many years to get over it. Sometime I will tell my story also. Thank You so much for sharing. I know there are lots of women out there with sinilar stories. Cheley47
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